back to Sunday

I met Dancing Jen and Jon at Star (where Jen is royalty) for lunch. First I
checked out Portsmouth Square ~ this amazing always-packed park is a haven
for the many Chinese residents who live (I understand) in tiny, crowded nearby
apartments. This was the first public park in SF.  Older men and women
gather in separate groups to play various games. Above the men are setting
up cardboard boxes which have been left all stacked and neatly folded (by
whom?) around the square. Resourceful residents without electronic devices.

rainbow man

Here is the wonderful Mr. Blogmaid down at his front yard (the ocean)
in Half Moon Bay. I remember when Bill and I first met him and we
were happy and impressed with our Blogmaid's partner selection. He
loves animals too and together they own: three cats, one dog, two
horses. Oh, yes, they are doing a superior job raising the very special
RR who will be 16 in November. How did that happen? With love,
of course ~ and patience, humor, open communication, etc.

baby widow steps

I have to learn how to entertain as a single person. We had some great
dinner parties and I miss the sound of laughter and chatter around the
fireplace and dinner table. So last night we three not-so-merry widows
(Neti included) gathered here to celebrate Pat's belated birthday. I
loved getting the house all clean and setting a pretty table with the
GOOD stuff. I confess I did not cook a thing. Grub Hub delivered
dinner from the Green Papaya and Pat brought gelato and I had a
small chocolate cake from Safeway. I missed my partner but I still
had a wonderful time and so did my friends. I think the key for me
is not to stress about gourmet cuisine and just to enjoy my home
and my guests. Annabelle had a lovely evening too and we both slept
in peace until 6am this morning, which is so civilized compared to
the usual 5am cat wake-up alarm. The dishes are being done now,
in between writing-fireplace-time. Life is good, trust me here.

she's a good wife

Much better than I ever was, that's for sure. The Wife is for rent
on Amazon Prime and of course I loved it even though I found
some things really unbelievable during these times when women
are allowed to be so outspoken. Or human, I guess I mean. Glenn
Close is fabulous, but you already know that.

road tripping

Heath Ceramics

Yesterday Marsha and I and her two dogs drove to Novato on a small
errand and some women-talk time. Novato is simply too boring to snap
one photo, even the Starbucks lattes were dreary. But really nice to
get out of SF and no rain. The hills are lush and green all around the
Bay and that was such a treat.

When we returned to civilization I introduced Marsha and the dogs
to the Heath Ceramics factory on 20th Street ~ they had not been
here before. This was a nice day indeed and Annabelle was all ears
and appetite when I returned home to tell her everything.

Today is International Women's Day. Very special.

Hygge

Yesterday's daily writing exercise.

HYGGE (the prompt)

Hahahahaha. The prompt-creator Linda D. and I use CALM the 

meditation app or application, if you will. A daily way to help reduce 

stress and to stay quiet for ten (sometimes long) minutes. This was 

one of Tamara’s daily subjects and as you might know by now it 

refers to comfort and that wonderful feeling of being in the exact 

right place at the right time. This is a Danish word.

I call her Tammy sometimes, this woman who speaks to me everyday and

tells me to breathe and stay in the moment. I’m pretty good most days

and she has even spoken to me when a glorious nap is needed. She

lives in snow country and has an unfortunate way of ending some words

in a stronG G. Then I’m thinkinG, but I am no longer meditatinG. 

Is she Canadian?

Bill and I had our word for that wonderful feeling of well-being and 

experiencing extreme comfort with the one you love. Hoganward started 

for us forty years ago when we couldn’t complete some fucking crossword 

puzzle and just filled in the word. I have a vivid memory of driving around 

the lakes in upper New York state with Bill. “Hoganward.” we agreed.

You will be amused to learn that occasionally I walk away from Tammy

and my iPad while she is talkinG and breathinG. Fuck this ~ not a

Danish expression as far as I know. 

03/06/19

never forgotten

It's been three years since my teacher and dear friend Jane Underwood
died. While cleaning out my office I find I can't throw some things
away. Her comments on my work, of course, she is the reason that
I call myself a writer today. And more, I find a poem that Linda D.
and I both love that isn't in the book ~ here for you:

I Was Wrong

Sunlight bakes my thinning hair,
and through the open window
wafts a wig of balmy air.

Sixty years gone by, plus two. You'd
think I'd never felt the sun,
you'd think no other kiss or whisper
ever skimmed this skin.

A mockingbird takes on the dawn.
Repeat, repeat, he sings his stolen songs.
Repeat, repeat, from early morning on.

Timeless and alone at five a.m.,
he starts to sing himself to
us, the world, the universe.
He does this from atop
a barren pole.
Burst of sun, trill and chirp, another
day gone by. Things I thought
could never be enough, but are.

~ Jane Underwood

just us girls

Scott's stomach was acting up last night so Nancy and I had dinner
over at the Blue Plate. We were going to walk, but of course it was
still raining. Bill helped us find a great parking place and she said,
"Thanks, Dad." She is the best step daughter in the world and next
I will see her in June at another Wedding of the Century in Elgin,
Illinois. First I will "do" Chicago and relive more sweet memories.

today from Wordsmith

mondegreen

PRONUNCIATION:

(MON-di-green) 

MEANING:

noun: A word or phrase resulting from mishearing a word or phrase, 

especially in song lyrics.

Example: “The girl with colitis goes by” for “The girl with kaleidoscope 

eyes” (in the Beatles song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”).

ETYMOLOGY: coined by author Sylvia Wright when she misinterpreted

the line "laid him on the green” as “Lady Mondegreen” in the Scottish 

ballad “The Bonny Earl of Murray”. Earliest documented use: 1954.

USAGE:

“Sometimes in musical announcements, words lose their meaning, 

or are misheard, resulting in a delightful mondegreen. ... The audience 

thought Walter Love had said: ‘We are beginning tonight with Howard 

Ferguson’s overture ‘Fornication’.’” (instead of “Overture for an Occasion”).
Paul Clements; An Irishman’s Diary; Irish Times (Dublin); Oct 5, 2016.

“[Tim Minchin’s] elocution is so exquisite there’s not a mondegreen in earshot.”
Suzanne Simonot; Tim and Tom Show a HOTA Opening Act; The Gold 

Coast Bulletin (Southport, Australia); Mar 19, 2018. 

friends in matching vests

The Blogmaid and I coordinated our plaids yesterday and met at the movie
theater to see The Favourite because we both adore Olivia Coleman and
Ms. Maid is a huge fan of ANYTHING royal. This film did not get great
reviews but I thought it was delightful and fun and of course the costumes
are outstanding. And lots of rabbits to oooh and ahhhh over too.

well, why not?

We bought Waterford crystal back in the 80's on our trip to Ireland. I
still love the look and feel of it. I decided to start using it for everyday
orange juice, freshly squeezed, of course. (I often think of my friend
Susan who starts her Sundays with oj.) Little by little changes are being
made here in our home and I no longer feel disloyal. I do, however,
find that it helps to include outside eyes, such as my step Nancy saying,
"You have room in the pantry for this and you are going to need to clean
off the counters anyway for the re-mo." Got it, done. Thanks...

back to the kitchen

We returned to Home Depot to finalize the project and that felt really
great. So happy to have Nancy and Scott (and Clarice) working on
this. In about a month the project will probably be finished. In the
meantime, I've been re-organizing the kitchen and getting stuff OFF
the counter. My friend Linda D. writes that I needn't cook just because
I have a sparkling new counter top. Whoosh.

Nancy and Scott left to visit Ceci up north and I sat down (in the kitchen)
and did the taxes. This is our 8th year with Turbotax and it was pretty easy,
all in all. It's good to lead a simple life with very few cover-ups or collusions.

make mine Corian®

Scott and Nancy at Original Joe's (in a  bad photo)

Chef Sarah and Nancy both have and love Corian® (four samples above)

How fortunate I am to have step daughter Nancy and her husband Scott
here. He is a contractor and Nance knows all about this stuff. They arrived
late yesterday and I rushed them to Home Depot in Daly City and we
all worked on the kitchen counters trying to figure out my crude measurements.
Luckily I had photos on my iPhone and we three worked well together. Of
course nothing is simple and I need a new sink, faucet and garbage disposal.
But that's OK. We return this morning to finalize the deal. And no rain
today (maybe).

Our reward was dinner at Original Joe's in Daly City. So grateful. Nance and
I both hope that I will start cooking again with the beautiful new counter tops.
But at least I'll have a pretty new kitchen...

personalizing the war

World War I ~ one hundred years ago. They Shall Not Grow Old is
a disturbing movie, of course, yet fascinating because of Peter Jackson's
work restoring and building the film. The most touching scenes to me
involved the Brits capturing the young German soldiers and realizing
(once again) how ridiculous war is. I met Doug and Barb at the most
delightful Alamo yesterday and we had lunch while watching the
young men march and kill each other. Rough. I can't stop thinking
about this movie now.

a short film, but wonderful

Oh, yes, I highly recommend this documentary which is now on Netflix.
Period. End of Sentence. A small town in India where women (and men)
learn about menstruation and we see the beginning of a sanitary-pad business
there. Sometimes it is the basics that help set women free and this film
is so inspirational that I am featuring it on NoMoreCommasPERIOD
today. Watch it!

Green's with grand daughter

Ceci and her friend Zack were here yesterday and since she is a vegetarian
I figured we should hit Green's again. Very nice lunch. Her mom Nancy
and dad Scott will be here on Wednesday.

I so enjoyed the Oscars last night. Green Book was my favorite movie
too and of course I'm a huge fan of Olivia and her speech was so genuine
and truly touching.

And a new week begins. We can do this thing.

a walk on Alabama Street

urban sprawl ~ the good kind

After listening to the ball game (!) yesterday I decided to walk up
to Starbux on 18th Street for a latte and some LindaKindle4 reading.
I walked back home down Alabama Street with appreciation and
my iPhone camera. Our famous Victorian rounded windows must
be a pain in the ass to replace, but quite wonderful to observe.

a cold February night

This beautiful poem is from one of our daily writing partners.
Andrea's husband died three years ago and she has been an
immense help to me.

A little lost tonight, cold February,

I’m watching the sky turn colors,

a few late birds flying overhead.

There is no word for the feeling

of being watched with love by 

the dead.  Besides, no one would

believe me.

Yet, watching the sky I smell 

their scent - aftershave, black

shoe polish, baby powder.

I can feel hands guiding mine

as we nail a strand of string

for the sweet peas to climb.

I can hear footsteps in heavy shoes,

a happy gait strides across the 

room.  I hear the laugh of a child

and the thwack of a rag as

it buffs the life into old oxfords.

The night brings our memories

to life, allowing the dead to put

their gentle hands upon us as 

we commit to sleep and the 

beginning of another day.

~~ Andrea Piercealla

tea and bullets

I had admired Al Farrow's work at the de Young a few years ago and did
not realize that there was an exhibit over at the Craft Museum on 3rd Street
until Frances suggested we go see it which we did yesterday. Farrow uses
guns, bullets, cartridges, etc. to build churches, synagogues and mosques
and somehow this all makes sense and there is great beauty and emotion
in these pieces. Frances came for tea first and of course she had to admire
Annabelle while we caught up with important chit chat. A good day.

special birthday dinner

sundown and our Golden Gate Bridge

Marsha was the star

Last night we celebrated Marsha down at the wonderful Green's
Restaurant ~ completely vegetarian, as you well remember. I had
a great time catching up with Larisa (not shown) who is going
home to Moscow for a visit next week. Marsha, Larisa and I
worked at the museums. It was a fine evening with great food,
laughter and friendship.

we like lake

Check out the blue sky again. I hadn't been back to Stow Lake since Bill
died, it was one of his favorite spots too. Yesterday Neti and I had a fine
walk, too early for the baby ducklings, but lots of other creatures including
a blue and a white heron and brand new turtles. I'm not a fan of the big
geese, pushy things, but they have multiplied also. The air is so clear
and it was lovely to be back with all those memories and current catch-up
chit chat with my long time friend.

enjoying the rain break

I have missed my walks. Yesterday I first admired the sign in the lower
left hand window here, then I stepped back to study the house ~ the
colors and the architecture. In SF we try to avoid the tyranny of beige.
Oh, and note the beautiful blue sky. It was cold but clear and the
air cleansed all that might be bothering me.

happy year of the pig

They were busy decorating in Chinatown yesterday for their big New
Year Celebration next weekend. I had a delightful lunch with Dancing
Jen at our favorite Star Restaurant where we are treated like royalty.
We had much to discuss and then walked on to downtown, happy to
have the blue sky and sunshine after so much rain.

the return to repose

I tried reading Angle of Repose back in the 70's but got nowhere. I
think if takes a degree of maturity that, god knows, I now have. Wallace
Stegner's famous novel is Connie's choice for next month's book
club and it is perfect reading for me now.

the tea report

looking out at the rain (note hanging tea cups above)

looking in at yet more tea type details 

Last Wednesday the book club met at Lovejoy's, a tea shoppe near my
home. All six of us attended, which is rare. I'm not a fan of tea spots but this
one has improved since my last visit a few years ago. Now they even serve
coffee, but I forced myself to stay with tea and I must say that the scones
were the best I've ever had. We had a good discussion about the Scottish
memoir and Connie selected next month's book. I'm on it already.

the pond in the rain

The Monet exhibit officially opens tomorrow, but Marsha and I reserved
for the preview and it was all quite wonderful and one never tires of
this artist in his later years in his garden. (Monet hired someone to dust off
his water lilies everyday.) Then I spent some happy hours walking in
Golden Gate Park ~ the rain can be tiresome, but everything is so lush
and green and clean. A really fine day for this blogger who is learning
how to be a single woman. Ups and downs, but marriage was like that too...

there was love, lots of love

I've been cleaning out my office as well as Bill's. Tossing important old
mortgage and insurance papers and keeping all these notes. Bill never
bought a greeting card but I would find the love note and often a cassette
tape on the kitchen table for Valentine's Day and other holidays. I'm so
glad I saved all of these but just seeing his really bad handwriting and
"art" still hurts a lot. Now I will practice gratitude as I get ready for
my day. I wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and please know that
I am fine, getting stronger.

more Kleenex, please

I came home from grief group last night and watched Beautiful
Boy which is a true, sad story about a very special young man
with a horrible drug problem. Fabulous acting and highly
recommended, but rough/rough/rough. Netflix rocks...

faraway friends

Linda and Tom are permanently in Albuquerque and loving it

Carlini is in Philadelphia for three months and not quite loving it

making us proud

Now it begins. Our new Governor Newsom is going to do battle with
Trump by pulling most of the National Guard from the Mexican border
to save them for "real threats" and I applaud this. He used to be our
customer at the Big Box Borders store when he was our Mayor and
he was always so very pleasant and respectful to all of us. You go, Guv!

writing workshops rock

Five students and one excellent teacher named Steve who was just rejected
by the New Yorker for a short story he wrote. But he is a real writer and
it just felt so good to be back with a group of writers in this small, warm
space as the rain came pounding down right outside. The all-day class:
Write What You Don't Know: A Fiction Workshop to Stretch your
Imagination. Yes on parking and yes on stretching ~ all in all a very
fine time was had by all. More, please...

back to school day

It's been a few years. Too long. I need a push so I'm taking an all day
writing class and I am happy about this. I'm packing a lunch, filled my
Thermos with coffee and will climb into my best jeans for school. Bill is
smiling down on me for this today, that much I know and he will help
me find free parking around Balboa and 22nd Streets.

DNA doesn't lie

For many years the Blogmaid has wanted to discover who my birth
parents were. Yesterday I finally gave her permission to start
digging and I gave myself a month or a year to get used to this
idea. Unlike many adoptees I have never been consumed with
curiosity about my lineage, although I do think every person needs
their health history. Anyway, in about three hours the Blogmaid
wrote that I have two "close cousins" who are probably half sisters.
I wrote one of them this morning through Ancestry.com. Oh, hello.
Stay tuned...

Edward Albee's Seascape

Two humans, two human-sized lizards. Thanks to a gift certificate from
Dancing Jen (grateful) I took myself to see "Seascape" yesterday at ACT.
I loved this play about a couple newly retired. They were bickering on
a beach when a lizard couple pays them a visit. Albee said that there are
really only two things to write about: life and death. Once again he finds
a way to show the joy, pain and absurdity of our world.

women in white

This woman, Speaker Pelosi, makes me especially proud this morning
as she sarcastically gives a clap-back to the Orange Monster during
the State of the Union address which I missed on purpose. I loved
that so many of the women wore white to honor the suffragettes who
fought for our right to vote.

my next project

This is not my kitchen. Not our kitchen. I/we need a new countertop and
I have been poking around online. Soon I will measure the counters and
head to Home Depot with a 15% discount that they snail-mailed me. I
asked Chef Sarah and step Nancy and jotted down their ideas and thoughts.
Nancy and I reminisced about when we had the kitchen painted white
and we both tried to convince Bill to get a new countertop then. He could
be stubborn and he said, "No." So ~ many choices now: marble, granite,
quartz and about fifty strange combination names that sound sleek or
cozy or just plain weird.

born and raised in SF Chinatown

Playwright Lauren Yee knows and appreciates her upbringing in our

Chinatown. Her father is head of the Yee Fung Hoy Family Association

and she writes about him and their relationship with deep love and

lots of wonderful irony. It's a glorious play full of all kinds of twists

and turns ~ music and dancing too. Neti was my date and we had a

good time yesterday, missing the Super Bowl. (Blogmaid said the

football spectacular was like watching Ambien. Ha ha.) I would

urge everyone to go to the SF Playhouse to see King of the Yees

and I'm so glad we spent a long afternoon there instead of in front

of the TV. 

a poem for the weather

This has been the rainiest winter in years and years. Of course we need
it and I'm so lucky to be able to stay in most of the time and not worry
about going to work or the hospital or even school in this mess. I do 
like this rain poem:

Rain

By Don Paterson

I love all films that start with rain:
rain, braiding a windowpane
or darkening a hung-out dress
or streaming down her upturned face;

one long thundering downpour
right through the empty script and score
before the act, before the blame,
before the lens pulls through the frame

to where the woman sits alone
beside a silent telephone
or the dress lies ruined on the grass
or the girl walks off the overpass,

and all things flow out from that source
along their fatal watercourse.
However bad or overlong
such a film can do no wrong,

so when his native twang shows through
or when the boom dips into view
or when her speech starts to betray
its adaptation from the play,

I think to when we opened cold
on a rain-dark gutter, running gold
with the neon of a drugstore sign,
and I’d read into its blazing line:

forget the ink, the milk, the blood—
all was washed clean with the flood
we rose up from the falling waters
the fallen rain’s own sons and daughters

and none of this, none of this matters.

for the book club

This is one of Gini's favorite books and her choice for our February
meeting. A Childhood in Scotland by Christian Miller, written in
1980, the author born in 1920. I'm just starting it now on this rainy
morning. It isn't available on e-books so I'm feeling a bit old fashioned
and of course my eyesight is less than perfect with the tiny type.
Perhaps this is why god, in her infinite wisdom, gave us magnifying
tools. But I miss my LindaKindle #4.

back to San Leandro

San Leandro BART station

Well, you can see from this photo that it was a grey yesterday. This lovely
statue looks better with a bright blue sky background.  I had a long and
terrific lunch with Meriel, Barbara and Julia at Paradiso in San Leandro
and didn't get back home until almost 5pm. Whoosh. For dinner I had a
cup of tea and some Whoppers.