Memorial for Lee Brady

 We celebrated on what would have been Lee's 96th birthday yesterday. She was an amazing woman who wrote and acted in plays, had tons of interesting friends and really LIVED. I only knew Lee for a couple of years as she was part of our book club, but I feel so fortunate to have known her. In the top photo we see Lee celebrating her 95th birthday. I will remember her sitting cross legged in a chair remembering all sorts of details in the books we were reading and discussing. What a mind. What an inspiration. The memorial was at the Phoenix Theater on Mason Street ~ and very well done.

fields of beauty and sorrow

 THE AIDS MEMORIAL QUILTS

The weather was perfect yesterday for walking slowly through the hundreds of quilts

in GG Park ~ heavy, misty and mournful. This was only a two day event and I needed

to pay our respects to those men and women who died way too young.

Thirty-five years ago Bill and I toured the memorial AIDS quilts display and I will

never forget that day. I needed to return yesterday.

My friend Terri told me where the quilts she made for her brother Frank (photo) and his

partner were and I wandered for quite awhile looking and weeping quietly. I was

surprised by how powerful these memories remain. And they should.

another goodbye

 There was a HUGE turnout for Marsha's Memorial yesterday at Piazza Peligrino in North Beach. We will all miss this powerful woman (top photo) but I only knew her since 2014, so my memories were different than most of her old friends. I told the crowd about our many adventures, usually with her two dogs. She was always so easy to be with, the dogs, not every single time. Yes, Marsha, you would have loved this...

Jen's goodbye

Yesterday Jen's nephew Stephen and I illegally sprinkled her ashes all over the grounds out at the Legion of Honor. the museum she loved. I met her there when she was 85, and probably more than any woman she taught me how to age. I am not doing it with the grace that Jen did, but she is always on my mind. We talked to and about her and I read this poem:

How To Be Old - May Swenson 

It is easy to be young, (Everybody is,
at first.) It is not easy
to be old. It takes time.
Youth is given; age is achieved.
One must work a magic to mix with time
in order to become old.

Youth is given. One must put it away
like a doll in a closet,
take it out and play with it only 
on holidays. One must have many dresses
and dress the doll impeccably
(but not to show the doll, to keep it hidden.)

It is necessary to adore the doll,
to remember it in the dark on the ordinary
days, and every day congratulate
one's aging face in the mirror.

In time one will be very old.
In time, one's life will be accomplished.
And in time, in time, the doll–
like new, though ancient–will be found.

(Jen kept her childhood doll on the top shelf of her bedroom closet.)

our national treasure

RIP Toni Morrison ~ outstanding writer and SO much more. 

oh what a day

We are family (feeling loved)

Richard Carlini and Mary Ann with Kleenex

The setting (thanks Linda D.) ~ The Ramp

Today I reflect, tomorrow I will write. It was a VERY good day.

Cold? Oh my yes, but I felt such warmth and love. Thank you

everyone for making Husbando's send-off so very special.

we are family (and friends)

We gathered here last night to enjoy salad, pizza and each other. I was
worried that I would feel uncomfortable, but everything was really nice
and now I am ready for the big event this afternoon. We will honor this
Husbando in a way he would love. Now let's hope for a little sunshine.
Thankful to and for everyone and the love they are showing us.

guests arriving today

I have been preparing the home and garden for out-of-town friends
and family. The memorial celebration is tomorrow. Tonight there
will be a casual pizza/salad gathering here and also tomorrow night
after the event. I am a bit on edge even though our friends are doing
all the work and Nancy and her family will handle the food tonight.
I miss Husbando telling me that everything will be just fine and I
am not to worry. He took most things in stride. Not me.

a lovely send off

Suzy Parker's mother, Edna, was in assisted living for too long (in my opinion)
and we gathered yesterday to celebrate her long life. I drove to/fro Oakland
because of the damn BART business and Husbando sat in the passenger
seat to keep me calm. Smooth. There was a ton of delicious food and many,
many lovely guests. Some great old photos of Edna who was a beautiful
woman and so fortunate to have Suzy to help her through these rough years.

a soothing good-bye

The father of the Blogmaid was a Major in the Air Force in Korea and
received a military send off yesterday at the Sacramento Valley National
Cemetery in Dixon, California. It was impressive and we were all lucky
that it wasn't too hot. Then we gathered at the Blogmaid's church in Rancho
Cordova for a buffet lunch with lots of memories (top photo) and time
to appreciate all that Major Luce contributed to this world. Special thanks
to Claire (Ponytail Power) for driving me to/fro ~ so nice.

our 2nd memorial

Jane loved trees and the Aids Memorial Garden in Golden Gate Park was
a perfect setting. Teachers, students and friends gathered yesterday to
remember her and to thank Jane for all she had given us over the years.
It was a somber and joyful event at the same time. She would have loved it.
Thanks to Doug and Barb for starting our day with bagels, coffee and
the Uber experience. So nice seeing old acquaintances too.

memorial week

Taco Bell in Pathetica (Thursday)

Playground ~ 39th and Ortega (Sunday)

I missed Charlie's official service since we were in Chicago, but the Blogmaid
and I met his daughter, Jen, at his favorite restaurant in Pacifica. We had a very
pleasant time and had some laughs and tears as we remembered this fine and
funny man. Like many of us, she was a Daddy's Girl and misses him terribly.
Jen was wearing his favorite Giants sweatshirt as we ate his favorite food and
each pocketed a handful of the secret sauce, just as he would have done.

There was a Borders mini-reunion at the sad occasion of Stacey's memorial
last Sunday. She was only 36 and had a two week surprise hospital stay
before she died of cancer, quickly. It's shocking that one so young and vibrant
could be gone without time to plan or prepare. She had just started her new
job at City Target and was soooooo excited about that. The Big Box Family
was there to show our support and remember her impact on our lives.

tears and laughter

A long, good and yet somewhat difficult day. Beautiful weather and
setting. Delightful people. I decided that outdoor services are better
than indoor stuffy ones and hereby request Crissy Field for mine.
His ashes are near the East Beach Grill where we used to have bad
coffee. Michael would love that they now serve Peet's®. I had some
time for a solo walk, a walk with his close friend Pam and then
some really nice talks with his friends. Then we formed a circle
and buried his ashes along with a scruffy plant that he loved. We
all know where to visit him now.

Of course I was crying, but was able to show them the tiny compass
that he gave me a few years ago because I have such a shitty sense
of direction. Seems I need it a lot more now than I used to. I also
wrote a poem for him that I will share with you at a later date.

Thank you to Pam and Kris who organized this wonderful event and
to Ginger for helping me so much with all of this. Today it is foggy.
Funny how those things work, isn't it?

Home tomorrow. A little drained, but better. Yes, better.