a question for Sunday

Cathedral Kitsch

Does God love gold?
Does He shine back
At Himself from walls
Like these, leafed
In the earth's softest wealth?

Women light candles,
Pray into their fistful of beads.
Cameras spit human light
Into the vast holy dark,

And what glistens back
Is high up and cold. I feel
Man here. The same wish
That named the planets.

Man with his shoes and tools,
His insistence to prove we exist
Just like God, in the large
And the small, the great

And the frayed. In the chords
That rise from the tall brass pipes,
And the chorus of crushed cans
Someone drags over cobbles
In the secular street

Tracy K. Smith

Cimarron Review
Winter 2011

oh, to be in Cedar Rapids

That's Iowa, right? The guy in the center here (Ed Helms) goes to
CR for an Insurance Convention and it's pretty amusing because he's
never even been on an airplane before. Yes, he's a rube. It's a nice
after-work movie and no Kleenex® were involved, but I can't say
I did the Laugh Out Louds either. From the Flix®, of course.

nature - red of tooth and claw

Picasso's Josie

The real Josie

Back in 2002, one of our writing exercises was to rhyme for ten
minutes. This illustrates that I have NO pride left, so here goes:

Kristin lives with a cat named Josie.
They live in Pacifica ~ quite cozy!
This grey furball is cute and not lazy,
but has a habit that some might call sleazy.

Ms. Josie gets her own take-out for dinner
and no one would call her Ms. Slimmer.

The bath tub is where she deposits her catch.
A restaurant that has no conceivable match.
The menu depends on the day or the night.
A mouse, a bird or even a rat ~ ugh, the fright.

When Josie finishes her entree
She tends to leave a strange nose gay.
One organ that is always the same -
it's small and weird and has no name.

But Josie is tidy as tidy can be.
She munches and crunches and that is the key,
For nothing remains ~ no feathers, no beak.
Just the one tiny particle, so Kristin won't freak.

a walk in The Dog

You can't miss the new home of Piccino

Inside look ~ spacious!

Jacaranda trees in full bloom

About once a year we head to DogPatch, an old SF nabe that is slowly
(thank God) being gentrified. Husbando had read a good review of
Piccino and indeed the meal was fabulous. Excellent and v. fresh
salads including mine with home-pickled cucumbers. Yum. Then
the thinnest crust pizza with corn kernels and prosciutto. We sat
outside and watched the world go by ~ a great mixture of people,
dogs (of course) and workers on their lunch hour.

DogPatch features the main Hells Angels' headquarters where we
once almost parked by mistake (don't do that!), lots of factories,
a big Muni lot and now some v. good restaurants. On our walk
after lunch we spotted one of those pup-up cash-only places
with fresh $5 sandwiches and a good-sized line of customers.

Of course everything is better when the sun is out in July, isn't it?

half way through...

I'm not sure if I love Wake Up, Sir! but I keep reading it, so
that says something about this fiction that I bought at Books, Inc.
now that I'm boycotting Amazon. I did, by the way, send that
mean-spirited company an email and no response so far.

But back to the book. We are both fans of the HBO Bored to
Death comedy, so Jonathan Ames can write no wrong, as far as
I'm concerned. The hero is an author in this book too, but he is
also an alkie and I'm afraid I have little patience because he keeps
falling off the wagon and having all sorts of dangerous and
embarrassing drunk experiences. And yet Ames spins a
fine plot with lots of colorful details. There is NO way that
this could be written by someone who has not fought Demon
Rum ~ I just hope Ames/Blair wins this battle in the end.

who would enter?

Only those of us who know that Emmy's Spaghetti Shack is a
fabulous little restaurant with reasonable prices. Funky? Yes.
Fun? Absolutely. It's at Mission and Virginia, across from the
Safeway. No reservations, but no lines last night when we
came with our friends Judy and Ron from Walnut Creek. They
BART into the city and we picked them up at the Chinese Donut
Shop on 24th Street. Handy. Classy.

Emmy's is one of those cool restaurants where chefs gather
after their shifts to (probably) bitch about their jobs and
enjoy the yummy home cooked food. Oh, do NOT miss the
Caesar salad and I am not kidding. Save room for dessert,
last night it was a peanut butter bar, ice cream, chocolate sauce.

the truth will now come out

Now that Borders is really, truly and completely dead, I can
share some of my old pieces with you. No fear of law suits or
friends being fired. I am so glad that I saved all of these
daily writes because I can relive those less-than-perfect days.

MY HEART BEATS FASTER WHEN (prompt - Round Robin #11)

For the past 12 years, part of my job as a retail manager is to count
lots and lots of money. I don't mind doing this, in fact it is often
much easier than dealing with customers. But once in while the
total will be off and I panic so quickly and completely that I break
into a sweat and my bowels loosen, as they say. So then I have to
put all the money back in the safe and rush to the bathroom.

It is easy to miscount money when you are dealing with thousands
and thousands of dollars. I have been off anywhere from $20 to
$5,000. My reaction is worse, of course, the more money that I'm
missing and I picture the boss calling me in for an interrogation
and ultimate firing. My mind works so quickly here that I have
already decided to call a lawyer and fight this firing and
sue the company for ruining my reputation.

The money almost always shows up. Only one time did an employee
steal an envelope with $250.00 in it from a cash register pickup that
had not been put into the safe slot all the way. All the other times the
money is found or the register error discovered. It is such a relief when
all the totals match and I am not short more than a couple of dollars.
What is really amazing is that sometimes we are not a penny over or
short, even with a cash deposit of $20,000 or so.

06/17/04

between work and baseball...

The Flix® sent us this British drama series featuring London
and an elite police unit focusing on identity theft. It's from
last year, and it seems more Americanized than need be.
Still worth watching, however, because the plots are intriguing
and the unit is run by a woman. Alas, she seems to be falling
in love with her fetching colleague in the center of the photo.

lots to think about here....

(an email from a friend)

Please consider passing this on. It's bipartisan in nature and is going to both Democrat and Republican. We should all seriously consider helping with the change suggested below. This is something I will fight for and I hope you will too. This is short so please read it all the way through and then forward. You will be glad you did. The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc. Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure. IF each of us forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on our address list, and in turn ask each of those to do likewise, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around. Congressional Reform Act of 2011 1. No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office. 2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose. 3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do. 4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%. 5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people. 6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people. 7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work. If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S.) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

=

rapunzel relaxes

bad photo of huge satellite photo of SF

Golden Gate Park Music Concourse and Academy of Science
(pardon the flash, that's not a moon)

toward the ocean

It's a rare treat for me to work up on the 9th Floor, all alone
except for the stunning 360º views and the many customers.
Just one register, one walkie talkie if I need help, and a much-
used cheat sheet that tells me what all the unusual buildings
are: Temple Emmanuel, St. Anne's (pink), St. Iggy, the new
stem cell research center (looks like a ship on the hill), the
Golden Gate Bridge (if it's not fogged up as it was yesterday)
and trying to answer all the questions and be washed over
with comments such as, "you call this work?" and "what a
beautiful city!"

The Tower at the deYoung is free and a must-see for tourists
and locals who love to bring visitors. One whole wall is that
badly photographed satellite map and folks want to touch the
places that they have seen or visited. "This is MY house."
"I used to live right there!" They stretch and point out all
the details and want to know where the museum is, the
ball park, downtown, Fisherman's Wharf, etc.

Not too much retail business is done up here, it's more
a job of talking and watching and just plain enjoying the
magnificence of the park and the city. Lucky me!

front row seats

the colors of summer

we finally see THE TROPHY

always a full house ~ where's Dodgero?

Ginger, Husbando and I had a great time yesterday and we need
not mention the final score. It was a tight one run game and a good
one. One thing I noticed is that we didn't have the huge number of
blue Dodger fans that we used to, and also they were VERY well
behaved, even in our cheap seat section. I guess Chapter 11 does
that to a fan base? I actually feel sorry for L.A. fans because even
I have been known to invest too much emotion in a baseball team.
Yesterday was such fun, but the Chicago Hot Dog stand is now
Chinese cuisine. Like we need more Chinese food in our city?
We'll try cha cha bowls next time I think. Oh, The Jewel never
looked prettier, the bright sun and blue sky = wowza!

eat, pray, yawn

We tried to watch this last night, but the cliches were swarming
and I kept staring at Julia's very full lips and wondering if/why
she had that silly procedure. I guess we tried for about 15 or
so minutes and then watched the Giants' game which made
a lot more sense.

the new Old Clam House

Good re-mo!

Hot clam juice still starts the meal

I had steamed clams and fries

Husbando had clams in pasta

The Old Clam House has been here out on Bayshore Blvd. for
years. Another no-tourist-ever area. The folks who own The
Stinking Rose and a few other restaurants around town bought
this recently and fixed it up and we both recommend it highly.
We had a fine lunch here yesterday and appreciated the new
sun porch, all the old photos of SF, the great service and yummy
clam-based food. Now they need customers so we hope to do
our part by spreading the word. Open everyday at 11am.

hooked on power struggles

The Flix® only has the first disc of this 2009 TV series that
died a too quick death due to lack of viewing audience.
I found the entire 3 disc set on Amazon for about $7, but
I'm trying v. hard to boycott them, as you know. I was just
about to break my vow (I'm only human) but continued
to noodle around and found it on Buy.com for the same
price and I was happy to pay the tiny sales tax. Good job!

Originally we ordered this because the most wonderful
Ian McShane is King Silas of the mythical kingdom of
Gilboa, but it is so much more than that. It's the modern
version of the David vs. Goliath bible story and we both
think it is superb. Alas, it didn't last, but we'll see as
much as possible and mourn the loss.

take two, feet

The Blogmaid gave me a set of 3 mismatched socks. I think I
will just close my eyes and pick 2 to see me through a not-easy
work day. Another favorite co-worker is leaving us and there
is much sorrow. It's never the same after someone you care
about leaves, even though we can blame him for everything
that goes wrong from here on out.

respecting the gardening process

before

during

more during

new lemon tree

mysterious new plant

Husbando's Early Girl tomatoes

This year, while I'm still working full-time, we decided to splurge
on a gardener to clean out the old and plant some new in the
tiny garden which is about the size of our TV remote control.
Even though it's minuscule, it is a LOT of work and no fun to
do when the knees are barking and the fog is making us cold
and irritable. So, welcome to Anne, who works like a dawg
and lives in SF, so she knows what won't work in our strange
climate and even on sunny days half of the garden is in the
shade. Yes, a challenge.

We had different requests. I wanted some plants that would
flower so I could fill a vase or two, and Husbando wanted
native plants that don't need a lot of water or work. She
is certainly trying to accommodate our needs. It's still a
work in progress, but we are pleased.

oh, huff daddy

I made a Big Deal out of leaving our Tiapos Writing Group last
night at 9pm on the dot, so I could do my back-to-work prep for
today and get to sleep early. We were about to lose the ball
game to the San Diego Padres in the top of the 9th and Husbando
reported that it was a rather dull game. Padres 1, Giants Zip.
Aubrey Huff has not been hitting well, but he steps up to the
plate, knocks one out and ties up the game. We didn't get to
bed until almost midnight and the adrenaline was high and
isn't this why we love/hate baseball?

money month, money year!

In 2011 July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays.

This happens once every 823 years. This is called money bags.

The proverb goes that if you send this to friends money will appear

in the next four days, based on Chinese Feng Shui.


Furthermore, this year we are going to experience four unusual dates:

1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that is not all. Take the last two digits

of the year in which you were born and add the age you will be this year.

This is the year of the Money.

(Thanks to Patrice for sending me this intriguing bit of information.)

always nice to see Minnie!

Driver, that is. She is the 2nd of Barney's wives and this is
most certainly a worthwhile film, now available from the Flix®.
Barney's Version is based on Mordecai Richler's novel,
which I have not read. We both appreciated how the characters
age during the film, better than in most movies. And we are
fans of Paul Giamatti and Dustin Hoffman, of course. I had
the Kleenex® box at my elbow, but I didn't really need it.

A note to my out-of-town readers. We are socked in with
fog. Some tourists love it (especially the ones from the East
and South USA) and a few are puzzled. Sales of the deYoung
heavy zip-front black jacket are huge ~ men and women.)

slanted oysters

from my Olympus camera

from my iPhone

I want to show you how terrific the little iPhone camera is, but
you probably already know that. The oysters began our meal
at The Slanted Door yesterday ~ Susan, Ginger and myself.
Since we are all Driven Women, we arrived early for the best
table overlooking the Bay Bridge and the foggy sky. Susan
trained from Sacramento and Ginger and I came by BART
and we met at the Farmer's Market on the Embarcadero.

Great service, lovely food (corn kernels, grapefruit and jicama
salad, big ol' crepe) and lots of conversation and laughter.
We all worked together a few decades ago at Capwell's and
so there was a lot of "whatever happened to so-and-so?" and

"remember the time?" Also current events because we do all
live in the present, honest. A very nice day, friends are the best.

book signing & reunion

The book ~ life in our Borders Union Square

The Author, Joesph Zitt

A great turnout of old friends

Last night I went to a book signing down at Books, Inc. on Van Ness.
Mr. Z's book is published and I'm guessing that there were about 50
of us from the old days at Borders. 19th Nervous Breakdown chronicles
the life of a music and book seller during the heyday of one of the
busiest retail stores in San Francisco. Joe is a musician so he was
well-rehearsed and comfortable in front of this audience of friends
and well-wishers.

Joe dedicates his book "to the workers and customers of store 57,
and to all those who serve to connect people with the art and
information that they love." This comes to me at a time when
I am not really appreciating retail, and, as usual, is just what
I need to hear. So now it's up to me to adjust my thinking (again).

Mr. Z is still with Borders, at one of their remaining stores in
Ohio, so it is extra special that he is here for a week and that
his first book signing was with us. Nice evening...

next on the bedside table

Before I Go To Sleep: A Novel

By S.J. Watson, hardcover, 368 pages, Harper, list price: $25.99, pub. date: June 14

This summer will see many thrillers come and go, but undoubtedly one of the most memorable will be this debut from S.J. Watson, an audiologist who wrote the book while on night shifts at a London hospital. Watson's main character, Christine, struggles with a big problem: Every time she goes to sleep, she forgets her name, her identity, her location, even her husband (due to a rare kind of amnesia). Each day is a new day, but in the most terrifying sense. Christine starts to keep a journal to remind herself of the basic details, and through it she learns that her husband, Ben, is keeping facts from her. Is he trying to protect her from a dark past, or is he concealing something more sinister? The structure of the novel — Watson shows us Christine's world through her diary — is heart-racing. We can never really tell what is real and what is invented, and as any keen reader of thrillers knows, the blurry line between truth and fiction can be scarier than blood and gore.

(I found the above online and I am already hooked. I do have a moral dilemma, however, because I plan to boycott Amazon because of their pissy stand on not collecting taxes for California, but this sounds like a Lindakindle-worthy book. What to do?)

meet my new friend(s)

OK, a little more cute here, we all can use that. Michael's cousin,
Anna, and I have become e-friends (yeah!) and she now has a blog
that I encourage you to read and enjoy. Anna is a writer, walker,
teacher, wife, mother, thinker and I so look forward to meeting her
one day very soon. In the meantime, I think you will love her blog
as I do. Enjoy!

Anna's Life

Post Script ~ Michael would LOVE that this is happening and he
sort of introduced us because he told each of us about the other
before he died. One more thanks, Seahorse.

busy with family stuff

My stepson Rob was in town for a two hurried days and we
went back to Patio Español because Husbando was longing
for paella and it's on special Wednesday nights. Funny, we
haven't been there in 20 plus years and then it's twice in
10 days. Anyway, good choice and still free and plentiful
parking and this time GREAT service.

Yesterday we ran errands for a dinner party and the other
step, John and his wife arrived, and we had a good old time
with various memories that didn't quite mesh. The "are you
sure it was blueberry pie, I remember apple," kind of thing.
Funny about how our brain storage units aren't as accurate
as we think they are and we can paint such precise images
and they can be so wrong.

I do want to insert here that running errands with Rob is
such a kick, especially in the Mission, because he isn't used
to SF city life and he loves the diversity and the fact that
the flower shop also sells canaries. We take it all for granted.
And he LOVED watching the huge grey blanket of fog roll in
last night from our back window.

Husbando broiled salmon and I almost overcooked
asparagus and made a huge salad that didn't last long
enough for when The Great Plotniks arrived from their
SoCal day. Sorry to kick them out (rudely) but we
needed to get Rob to the Hilton by the airport as he
caught the 6am flight back to Buffalo today. He works
too long and too hard and we worry about him, but it was
a delight to have him here and we already miss him.

And now I head for the Legion of Honor. Rush, rush.

the curtain descends

Our theater season 2011 was officially over Tuesday night when
we saw Tigers Be Still at the SF Playhouse. This was a good (not
great) play about a dysfunctional family and we know there is
no other kind, so we need specifics. One sister was dumped by
her boyfriend and has taken Jack Daniels to the sofa. The
other sister is starting her teaching career while care-giving
for their mother who has gained weight and refuses to leave
her bedroom. And then a young man and his father, grieving
the death of mother/wife and not in a wholesome way.

Written by a young woman (Kim Rosenstock) and directed
by our favorite Amy Glazer, it's 85 minutes and moves quickly
with a few laughs along the way. Well worth seeing, in my
most humble opinion.

a new kid in blog

Kingston meets Lula

Lula greets her new world

My dear friend Dancing Jen is heading back to Michigan
tomorrow to help her sister and family with the new baby
girl. She writes that even Kingston is enamored of his new
sister, but we know that won't last forever. (I don't believe
Lula is even a week old in this photo.)

OK, enough cute. I'll be back to fog and despair tomorrow,
I promise.

the innocents sleep

I love this photo of RR and two of her girl friends ~ thanks, Blogmaid.

For reasons I will never fully understand, I have won the Insomnia
Battle for the past week and sheeeeeesh, what a difference it makes.
I know that no one dies from lack of sleep, but everything is better
and almost makes sense when I do snooze. There were a few illegal
and loud fireworks last night, and I always worry about fire this
time of year, but still I managed to log in about 7 solid hours again.

Out to the Legion of Honor today, a new exhibit opens in 4 days
and I'll write about it as soon as I see it for myself. I prefer the
empty, before-customers galleries. Am I spoiled?

sunny, sparkly, quiet

Today I'm working (time and half $$$$ !) so it will be pretty much
of a non-holiday for us. I am wearing red/white/blue and we will
see the fireworks from our back deck tonight, and we will continue
to watch the nail-biting Breaking Bad (9th episode, Season 3)
which means that it's not easy falling asleep because the adrenaline
is pumping and the Sleepy Tea takes longer to quiet all the nerves.

The weather is phenomenal here and that's not always the case.
Happy 4th, everyone ~ be safe.

when did it start?

My Hypochondria: A Soliloquy

All day I felt a small disc of numbness just below
my scalp, a collapsed vein, I was sure, or a clot,

the first signs of a seizure coming on, of an aneurism,
or possibly a stroke, that anesthetized zero flaring

and disappearing for hours, like the red-blank-red
blinking of a stoplight, so that I lay awake that night

contemplating all the false scenarios of death: the helium
ascensions, the eternal returns, the crumbed body

called back into the grass, the unity, the whispering cup
on the Ouija board, but I found inside of me no heaven,

no Elysium, no Valhalla, no dreamtime, no Egyptian
Fields of Aaru, no meadow fat with buffalo, just the perfume

of myths, a bad disguise, like someone trying to cover
a bald spot, but the hole shows through, doesn't it, the numb-

spot at the center of the world, the straight-nothing that isn't
even black, which is what I felt leached to the top of my skull,

that yarmulke of emptiness, that blood-nothing at the core of us,
striking its one note for eternity, while our hearts, pink

and motherless, look to the sky with their eyes gummed shut,

like a nest of infant birds. When did I become
like this: paranoid, delusional? When did I start

looking at my own thoughts through a wall of glass?
When did I become this diminutive person, this toy man,

this Godless Pinocchio? Why can't I find the crack, gap,
that moment when the tape was spliced, that step in time

when the old self lifted a foot and the new one put it down?
Aren't there origins: the garden, the bang? Walk back against

the current, and won't you find the river's source?
Trace the etymology of every word and won't you find them

gathered in the same mouth, the same grunt, the same breath
across startled vocal chords? When did it begin, when was

that first drop of consciousness replaced? When did it start,
this abduction, this swap, this backwards dialysis of selves,

every molecule in my body muddied and returned? Why not hunt
the ghost of my former life? Why not hunt what haunts me? And if

the mind holds experience the way a Doppler holds weather—
as a symbol, as a code—then what choice is there except to chase

the storm back across the continents until the last ice-crystal
of cloud melts back into the oxygen, until the mind, bleached

and purified, reveals the noble blue that lies dormant within you,
or so that at least you can see that once you were okay,

that you were blameless, that you were luminous

Steve Gehrke

Bellevue Literary Review
Spring 2011

back to bad (and good)

The 4th Season of Breaking Bad starts mid-July, so we are busy
catching up with Season 3 using On Demand. It is soooooo intense
and the plot is full of intriguing surprises, so there are a lot of
"oh no, oh god, no" and I am forced to cover my eyes from time
to time. Above you find the two main characters ~ the student
Jessie on the left and Mr. White his teacher on the right. They
are making meth and it's not a business where one meets the
best elements of society.

In other news, we sat outside at Nettie's Crab Shack on Union
Street yesterday to gobble up mussels from Washington State
with Fatted Calf sausage crumbled in the mix. Oh, yum. It
is an area filled with young people who seem to have a lot of
time and money to sit, eat and drink wine and I say "enjoy,
enjoy," for we did the same in our feckless youth(s).

I work the next 4 days and am appreciating these glorious
and sunny days off even more than usual, or so it seems.

can we go outside and play?

Boogie boarding, Santa Barbara ~ 2005

(My dear writing group confidants liked this piece, so I thought
I'd share it this morning. Please realize that I have two (!) friends
named Ginger, and this is the SoCal one that I met in college.)

BAREFOOT (this was the Round Robin prompt)

Was there ever a better feeling? Playing in the sprinklers on a really
hot day when the grass was green and slippery and wet. I thought
about this the other morning out in Golden Gate Park on my way
to work. What would happen if I took off my shoes and whirled
around getting my clothes, hair and body soaked? Well, someone
would probably call the cops and of course I'd be late to work.

Childhood memories, the sensations remain. I guess my favorite was
was playing in the ocean, body surfing. Again the contrast between a
really hot day and the ice cold water. Sometimes it took forever to
get up the courage to take the final plunge and I would wade in oh
so slowly until I was wet up to my stomach, and then, the dunk.
Other times I'd just dash in and get the pain/pleasure over with quickly.

I was able to try this again as an older woman a couple of years ago
in Santa Barbara. I went boogie boarding with my college friend
Ginger and it was great, just as wonderful as it used to be. But you
know what was even better? Staying in our scratchy, sandy bathing
suits to run errands. So uncomfortable, and all the memories of
our summers at San Clemente came back and I realized again
how fortunate I was to grow up mostly outdoors as a California
kid. Summer is here, rejoice!