the plays the thing...

I love working across the street from the half price
ticket place in Union Square, but when I checked the
web site here, it appears we can now order tickets online.
Theatre Bay Area

Anyway, with our bargain tickets we went to the 3pm
curtain today at The Playhouse on Sutter Street. It's
fun to leave work and walk a few feet to the theatre,
It's times like this that I think, "well, this is exactly the
life I wanted to live when I dreamed of moving to the
big city after college". Of course it was extra fine to
have free parking, thanks to my generous company.

We saw The Mystery Plays today. The first one was
OK, the second one (Ghost Children) was fabulous.
The acting was terrific, by the way. Go. Enjoy.
sfplayhouse.org

did you say six hours?

The Flix® now has The Best of Youth and we watched
the first 3-hour disc tonight. I didn't plan to, but it was
engrossing because you know how those families are.
Trauma and tragedy and there's always one or two
oddballs to keep things interesting. It was just so damn
Italian too, beautiful and destructive in that haunting
dramatic way. Highly recommended.

This sprawling Italian drama sweeps from the '60s to the 21st century, tracking the journey of two brothers, Nicola (Luigi Lo Cascio) and Matteo (Alessio Boni). The two take different paths: After traveling, Nicola becomes a successful psychiatrist, while Matteo becomes a policeman intent on catching criminals. Their politics diverge as well, straining the family bond. Originally aired as a miniseries on Italian television.

it's all about writing

Tonight I have my Round Robin class, so I'll do the post
now and we'll concentrate on this web site that I have
not seen before:
Writer Advice
You can do a search under either Will Walker or The
Peach to find my friend's delightful poem here. Will will
(nice) be at Jane's tonight and he is also a member of
Tiapos, and he is extremely talented. You might
remember that he is also known as Large Pants. He
has been published often, unlike this lazy writer.

74º in early february?

Wow, what a day. Beautiful. Walked down at the
Embarcadero after lunch at Mijita Cocina Mexicana
in the Ferry Building. Delicious and reasonable and
understandably busy.

Rented Red Eye which is lots of scary fun, but you
do not want to watch it alone at night.

Now it's my Sunday night and I have to prepare
mentally for a week of work.

7am ~ the earth moved

oceanbeach
Originally uploaded by the omster.

I was out in the garden early, scooping out some compost that was ALIVE with red worms. I had almost forgotten how very rewarding it is to dig around in the earth with my bare hands. I replanted 3 tiger lilies that were crowding the rose bushes and now I just wait to make sure
they are happy in their shady new home.

Rushing out at 8am to pick up Mollie for our walk at Ocean Beach. You can see how
clear and bright it was, so good for the soul after all those rainy, grey days.

Lunch with Husbando out at The Ramp where we have been going on sunny days for years and years. Even the food tasted better than usual, but don't order the french fries.

it's back-to-school time!

Thursday night I'll be heading up to Jane's for the first
Round Robin 2006 class meeting. I'll take msBook here
and a bottle of water. The Salon Mistress will have some
good strong coffee for us and I'll be a little early so I
can try to sit by her striped cat. Then beginning Friday
I will write for 10 minutes every day, sending a copy to
Mistress Jane and to my partner. I don't even know when
this class ends, but why do I need to know that now?

When I first started writing for 10 minutes I would have
to use a timer, but now I know intuitively when the time
is up. I have 2 thick 3-ring binders filled with my daily
writes, because I like reading hard copies. They are also
here on msBook, of course. When I was young I used to
try to keep a journal, but I hated going back and reading
that dribble. For some reason, however, I enjoy many of
these pieces because they are spontaneous and once
in a while (say it) DAMN GOOD.

no super sunday for me

Small actually. Faithful readers will remember here
that I love little theatre and today we went to a 5pm
curtain of In On It over at The Thick House on Potrero
Hill. A clever 70 minute play with only two actors,
lots of plot twists and some snappy dialogue. This
play runs through Feb. 26th, if you're interested:
Encore Theatre Company
Afterwards, dinner at Aperto Restaurant and home
by 8pm. Of course that fits my schedule perfectly.

our co-president

We watched "Bush's Brain" tonight ~ all about Karl
Rove, one of the scummiest of the scumbags ever.
I recommend this documentary, especially to
Republicans who might want to see Dubya's
close friend in action.

to the highest bidder

All those years we bitched about Candlestick, at least
they never changed the name every 6 months. Shit, I
have enough trouble remembering SBC and now we are
supposed to call it AT&T? Does anyone care that I
don't LIKE AT&T? The company, the letters, the very
idea of this gobble-em-up corporate phone giant.
Do the Giants have ANYTHING to say about this?
I doubt it. So it's official, I guess. Well, it could be
worse. How, you ask? Well, that poor Texas baseball
team played in Enron Stadium before they changed
into some Lemonade Place. They sure make it rough
on those of us who just love old fashioned baseball.

We do have our tickets, by the way, for Opening Day.
At AT&T Park, formerly SBC, formerly Pac Bell.
What a crock.

did you say 2000 words?

Just returned from my most delightful writing
group and they want me (the queen of brevity)
to expand my 700 word piece to 2000.
Gulp. But it will be good experience for me
and I'll do as I'm told, because they are always
(almost always) right.

Nice to have Karen One Foot back where she
belongs, even if she didn't have anything
to read. And Chef Sarah Picklenik is off to
France soon, to nosh and nibble and do some
travel writing, I hope. Lovely (as usual) work
from Will, Mistress Jane and The Other Karen.
Now, hurry to bed ~ 4am will be too soon.

the linkmaster does it again

Thanks to Michael for adding 3 new links over there
(here) to the right:

1) Loren's walk for breast cancer page (so much
    easier now for me to remind you to give/give/give).

2) I have mentioned Dr J before, but perhaps you
    didn't know that he is Chock Full of Inner Demons.
    Now you do.

3) Will is in my Thursday night writing group (Tiapos)
   and he is affectionately known as Large Pants.

Tomorrow night is writing group and I need to spend a
couple of hours working today. I actually have an IDEA
and a goal to send something out for rejection. More
about that later....

grizzly man

I'm currently watching Bush and feeling irritable
and if I were to take my blood pressure now, I
would probably have to call an ambulance. The
State of this Union is not so great, in my humble
opinion. Oh, my, he is such a jerk. There is a huge
white sign on our Bernal Hill that reads:
BUSH STEP
DOWN
But then what, Cheney?

This morning I watched and thoroughly enjoyed
Grizzly Man. Some beautiful photography, some
unnerving moments when Timothy loses his cool
and becomes paranoid ~ about people, not bears.
Even though he dies in the end, it was not the
violent movie that I was afraid it would be.

appreciation day

I could talk about tomorrow night's State of the
Union address, or the constant horrible news from
Iraq. Instead, I'll relate what I heard on the radio.
Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day 2006
Yes, it's today. Remember when Larry David was
hiding upstairs from someone who was hoping to
hurt him and Larry couldn't keep from popping the
bubble wrap? A dead giveaway, but who could
resist? Anyway, it's sort of fun to noodle around
in this website because some people create the
oddest things (clothing, for instance) with this
peculiar product.

for jane, loren and all women

Two things changed and improved my life dramatically
four years ago when I started taking classes at the
Writing Salon with Jane the Salon Mistress. The first
was a monumental email from Jane telling me how
much she loved my work. Imagine! I glowed, grinned
and at that moment decided that I would keep on
writing forever, no matter what. And I have.

Then, out of the blue, one of the students asked me
if she could PUBLISH my Halloween piece. Publish?
Loren Rhoads produces the highly unusual Morbid
Curiosity magazine ~ I subsequently did a couple
of readings for her and she has always supported
me and my work and now I'm going to do the same
for her. So, here's the sales pitch:

Loren is walking, 39 miles worth of walking, for Jane
and for all the women who are fighting breast cancer.
She is starting her training now because Loren is not
a jock, she is a writer and a mother. When you check
out her Avon page, you'll see that we need to get
hopping to raise money so she can do this thing. I
know she will be inspired to walk a few more miles
every week if she knows we are with her here.
The web page is easy to maneuver, just have your
little credit card when you sit down to fill out the
form. And please know that I am going to be relent-
less here...let's send Loren on that BIG WALK.

Click Here: Check out "Avon Walk for Breast Cancer:"

I thank you in advance!

a tale of two karens

Today I went to a poetry reading for Karen One Foot
(see her blog link to the right ~ One Foot Out the Door)
at a cool little art gallery on Sutter Street near
Presidio. Of course I parked easily because that's my
reward for trying to be a good person most of the
time. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and I always love
any two words that Ms. Foot puts together. One of
her poems made me well up in public...when she tells
of sitting in North Beach with her much-loved Tom.

I enjoyed chatting with Jeff and Jane and Kerry,
then had a moment with my other Karen writing
friend and remembered that she asked me once if I'd
tell ALL (ahem) my readers about her book website.
There is some fine writing in this book, and the best
piece is by Karen Myers who put this all together.
Check it out!  My Body Of Knowledge

kenny boy

Just a quick note tonight because I want to recom-
mend the movie Enron: The Smartest Boys in the
Room. The lies, greed and total disregard for others
proves once again how important it is that we
regulate corporations. If I owned a small business
in SF, I probably wouldn't appreciate the high
minimum wage law here in our city, but since I
don't, I applaud the fact that the voters of San
Francisco approved an (almost) living minimum wage.
Our staff all received a 25ç an hour raise this
January and morale is high as a result. (The Enron
movie is out on DVD ~ unbelievable avarice.)

completely wire-free

That's it, I am totally 100% wireless. It wasn't easy,
but nothing ever is for me on this computer. Yes,
it was and is worth the extra money and all the time
I spent on this damn thing. Last night I brought
msBook to bed and wrote a couple of emails to
friends ~ bragging, showing off, begging for praise.

Now here is something I snagged from the obits in
yesterday's Chron:

...he died with more questions than answers.

I have a "thing" for curiosity and for people who
posses this trait. When my brother-in-law was in
the hospital, in and out of it, he would ask for his
glasses and the newspaper whenever he woke up.
He knew he was dying, but he wanted to know
what was going on in the world. I love that.

nothing changes, everything changes

city lights
Originally uploaded by the omster.

Yesterday we had lunch outdoors in the sun at Cafe DeLucchi in North Beach. When Love was New we spent many happy hours here and some of our old favorite hangouts (Gold Spike, Vesuvio, Mario's Cigar Store, City Lights, Cafe Trieste and the Wash Bag) remain. To me North
Beach is really the heart of SF, even though I love the Union Square area and the Mission District too.

I prayed to Our Lady of Asphalt and found a good/free parking space and we walked before and after lunch. There were two old women speaking Italian, a few tourists, delicious smells of garlic and coffee and some interesting new stores to worry about. There doesn't seem to be much foot traffic, so maybe they depend on weekend business.

Oh, I left the Savoy Tivoli out of my memory list above. It's still there, I wonder if/who goes and do they love it as much as I did? Could anyone?

incongruous

That's the word I was searching for yesterday while
discussing the Baccarat Buddha.

Today is my Saturday and I'm sitting in front of the
fire writing emails and wishing The Great Plotnik a
marvelous trip to Guatemala. And One Foot arrives
in her most elegant and fine fashion tomorrow. The
salon mistress returns from Chicago and I want to
hear all about her trip. Everything is different this
week, I'm thinking. Ginger in Kansas is in Texas,
avoiding President Scumsucker Spymaster Bush who
was in Top Form in Manhattan, Kansas yesterday.
I'd leave town too.
(Of course he avoids SF entirely.)

An article in the Chronny this morning talks about
SF having more Wi-Fi spots than any other city.
Thanks to my dear friend Michael, my good old
browser has returned and it was such a highly
technical and complicated operation that I dare
not discuss it publicly. Only Steve Jobs and maybe
Bill Gates would understand how I fixed msBook
yesterday afternoon and I am one happy woman
as a result.

give me the simple life

Agog. I don't use that word very often, but that is what I was
this morning when I passed the Baccarat store on Powell
Street. There was a small display for the Chinese New Year
and the centerpiece was a crystal Buddha. I would guess that
he's about 18" tall and surrounded by little glass animals.
The pig is particularly cute, but I couldn't take my eyes off
the Buddha. It seems so contrary to the concept of serenity
and simplicity ~ a Baccarat crystal Buddha! There was no
discreet price tag, thank goodness, but I think we know
that this clear glass fellow is worth his weight in gold.

back to equality

What a delightful surprise today. I was helping a customer
find "With Liberty and Justice for All" by Kate Michelman
and we got into an agreeable discussion about feminism.
Not many women call themselves feminists now days, it's
too scary. But I am one, and so was this small woman
with an engaging smile and bright red hair. We agreed
that this book about pro-choice should be on the first
floor and after we parted and I put the books out I noticed
the author's photo on the front cover. I had been talking
to Kate Michelman!

I dashed to the cashier line and asked her how come she
didn't want to announce herself and sign her books.
She replied that she was embarrassed to do that, which
was sweet, I thought. She said she was in town to speak
to the Commonwealth Club and I thanked her for all her
work on behalf of women everywhere. Then I said I was
going to rush home and email all my feminists friends.

re-entry

There were 125 new emails to plow through this morning
at work. I left a couple of them that smelled like DANGER
until right before I left, but everything turned out just
fine and I worried needlessly.

Tonight dinner with friends at Umbria, then to see the
Lamplighters perform The Pirates of Penzance at Yuerba
Buena Center. Tomorrow night The Great Plotnik joins us
for bagels and lox from Zabar's in NYC. Very social!

success!

Oh, hooray ~ thanks to the help of RR's father, I can now
connect to the wireless and thank you to my writing group
friends for supporting me last night and assuring me that
they have all the same problems and frustrations. I was
able to relax after that and today was a breeze after
Kristin and Bill called. I think I finally understand a few
things about computers that I didn't quite GET before.

Also I was able to purchase two SRO tix for Opening
Day ~ navigated online! I assured Husbando
that we won't have to stand for the entire game, we
will just look pathetic and people will offer us a seat
from time to time. It is my experience that a lot of fans
get drunk early that day and we can sit when they go
home after the 2nd inning to pass out.

Back to work tomorrow after four fabulous and very
productive days off.

sure looks like memphis

Last night we watched Hustle & Flow...an excellent film
about a pimp who wants to be a rap musician. Doesn't
sound like much, does it? Well, it's well worth buying
or renting, because everything works: the story, the dialog
and especially the acting.

There was a time in our lives when we'd have to go to
Memphis about 4 times a year. After about 5 minutes
into the movie I said to my husband, "God, that looks
just like Memphis". It was. There's something about those
areas of America where there are no building codes or
concern with how things look. It's not just the poverty
and desperation, it's more ~ worse somehow, because
nobody seems to care.

On the positive side, you could get baskets of shrimp
(peel 'em & eat 'em) for about $2.00 a quart. The
BBQ ribs were overrated, but shrimp and beer make
Memphis tolerable. And the rap music, of course.

integral to my well-being

Fwd: yoga center
Originally uploaded by the omster.

There are probably a million or so yoga places in San Francisco, but I lucked out and found this place on Dolores Street. I started yoga about 5 years ago to help reduce stress. At first I just wanted the stretching and poses, but now I actually chant and do the circle thing with my thumb and first finger.
I will admit that I snooze a bit during meditation, but I don't snore.

The rooms all feature thick, soft pastel carpets with tons of pillows. Everything has a light incense smell and I guarantee your blood pressure will drop by 10 points the moment you walk in the door. I've had maybe 10 different teachers, all as gentle and sweet as newborn kittens. I remember the day after 911 and I cried for the entire one and 1/2 hour class ~ it was the best therapy I could have asked for.

Take one introductory class at the Integral Yoga Center and you'll be hooked.

from paris to mexico city

Fwd: 10am farmers market
Originally uploaded by the omster.

This was one of those, "I'm so glad I don't live in Duluth" kind of days. My husband and I took BART to the Embarcadero to see the Will & Willie radio program at the Hotel Vitale. There were only about 6 of us in the audience and we enjoyed the humor for about an hour. Will Durst and one of the technicians thanked us for coming ~ it was a very relaxed setting with folks working on their computers, reading the newspaper and one other person (besides me) taking notes for his blog.

Then we went to the Farmer's Market which really did remind me of Paris, with the chefs starting to prepare their lunch meals. We decided not to have the caviar sampler for $54.00, but accepted free fresh strawberries in balsamic vinegar, of all things. After ordering coffee at Peet's we sat on a bench outside and watched the ships on the bay. It was a little chilly, but there was just enough sun and no wind at all.

Back to BART, getting off at 16th and Mission and walking down to 25th Street for burritos at our favorite La Taqueria. Everyone we know has a different "best burrito" restaurant, but this really is the greatest because they don't use rice as a filler.
Fresh pinapple drink is also highly recommended.

There is a new drug store at the corner of 20th and Mish and they don't even pretend to want our business. Every sign is in Spanish. How can anyone not love this city?

Coffee at XO this afternoon with the Great Plotnik and home to watch "Junebug". Strange movie, I'm still thinking about it.

4 days, 2 books

Yes, thanks to Loren for mentioning "interesting", she
is right on the button. Another tediously over used word
is "super", as in "he's a super good looking man".
All sorts of glossy magazine ads feature Super, too.

But back to me. I have four days off this week, comp
for the horrid holidays. So I brought home two new
novels:

The Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster
and
Gentlemen & Players by Joanne Harris

Now I'm going to watch The Golden Globe Awards!
Super...

nothing just "is" anymore

This graph is going to sound like Andy Rooney, I know
that from the start.

I just opened my AirPort Card box from Apple. I bought
it last week, but I didn't want to get discouraged and
snarly until my days off this week. Anyway, it isn't
simply an airport card, it is an AirPort Extreme Card.
So now Extreme has joined ranks with Awesome.
God should forbid that products or movies or sports
events or fashion are considered average ~ they have
to be over the top, excessive: awesome and extreme.
It's odd to think of a 10 minute work break as being
"totally awesome", yet that's how it's been described
on the walkie talkie.

An Extreme CD software installation is included with
the Extreme Card and I will probably have an
Extreme Meltdown before I truly become wireless.

searching for forgiveness

There is a nifty search feature to this blog and I used
it to see if I hadn't posted this poem before. No!
It's a little long, and of course Dr. J has already
moved on to another blog, but I do love this and
my more poetic friends will say stuff like "hoorah
and wowza" in their lovely comments. This poet,
c.k. williams, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize,
back in 2000, I think.

Invisible Mending

Three women, old as angels,
bent as ancient apple trees,
who, in a storefront window,
with magnifying glasses,
needles fine as hair, and shining
scissors, parted woof from warp
and pruned what would in
human tissue have been sick.

Abrasions, rents and frays,
slits and chars and acid
splashes, filaments that gave
way of their own accord
from the stress of spanning
tiny, trifling gaps, but which
in a wounded psyche
make a murderous maze.

Their hands as hard as horn,
their eyes as keen as steel,
the threads they worked with
must have seemed as thick
as ropes on ships, as cables
on a crane, but still their heads
would lower, their teeth bare
to nip away the raveled ends.

Only sometimes would they
lift their eyes to yours to show
how much lovelier than these twists
of silk and serge garments
of the mind are, yet how much
more benign their implements
than mind?s procedures
of forgiveness and repair.

And in your loneliness you?d notice
how really very gently they?d take
the fabric to its last, with what
solicitude gather up worn edges
to be bound, with what severe
but kind detachment wield
their amputating shears:
forgiveness and repair.

c.k. williams
repair

he lies, she lies

Today, a little after 8am, a man walked into our store and demanded that
we send all the copies of "A Million Little Pieces" back to the
publisher.
On the looney scale, he was only about a 5 of 10, compared to the
Genuine Ten who arrived promptly at 9am. But we'll save that story...

I managed to mollify the customer, but I have been thinking a lot
about the authors who have been in the news recently. I did watch
Larry King when James Frey was on and listened to Oprah defend
him and even though I realize we all embellish just a tad when we
write about our past experiences, I assume we don't out-and-out lie.
I really don't know what to make of J.T. LeRoy, but it is peculiar
that these two authors are not what/who they say they are. We
live in an age where there are no secrets and there never will
be in the future.

The Half Looney told me that a lot of drug addicts and alcoholics
had started using again when they found out that Frey was
lying in his book. Then he said that it should be shelved in
Fiction and I told him that's where we kept the book...and now
who's lying?

an observation

This is not a theory. Only men over 50 have theories. (My
friend Mary pointed that out to me last year.)

Since the homeless people are no longer allowed to sit in
doorways or sprawl on the curbs in Union Square, there
has been a proliferation of wheel chairs. There must be
3 or 4 per block now and we have rather narrow sidewalks,
so it is not easy to maneuver around them.

I only give money to one homeless guy (Jim) and then I
send a nice check to Glide. I so admire the work they do
and I remember reading how Rev. Williams has to make
his side of the bed every morning and his wife makes
her side. Viva women's rights!

will & willie

On my days off I enjoy listening to the left leaning Air America
radio station 960 AM "The Quake". Al Franken comes on at 10am,
but before that there is a brand new program with Will Durst and
Willie Brown that starts at 7am. These guys are good together
and obviously they are enjoying themselves immensely. I think
next week we'll go down to the Hotel Vitale to give them a
little support and then cross the street and go to the Farmer's
Market for a late breakfast or early lunch.

I've always appreciated Willie Brown and when he was the
Mayor I spent an inordinate amount of time defending him.
Now there's a man who appreciates life...

perversity and perservering

Today was spent messing around installing DSL and then
deciding that I really want wireless. In the meantime I
lost and found AOL and my sense of well being. I'm
not good at this, but I persevere and finally GET IT after
calling the help line more times than I'll ever admit.
And now I am using an unfamiliar browser and feel all out
of focus and out of sorts, if you must know.

Anyway, this evening was much better because we
went to see Sexual Perversity in Chicago by David
Mamet, at ACT. This was Mamet's first play from the
70's and it is terrific. Highly recommended, a comedy
with some biting truths. Directed by Peter Riegert.

of feathers and fish

Today was one of those strange days when I spent
most of my time handling "issues" and trying to
de-ruffle feathers. I took a break at lunch and went
to a Starbux to have a nonfat latte and read the
free Examiner, which isn't such a bad paper anymore.

People were taking pictures of the cable cars and
Union Square and I thought once again, "how lucky I
am to live in a city that is loved by so many". There
were Business Men in suits outside the St. Francis,
lots of them (maybe 50) and I swear to God that
each one of them had a flip. I noticed that most of
them kept the phone to the left ear and they all
looked VERY IMPORTANT. I believe the gathering had
something to do with property/real estate, but I was
too busy checking the phone/to left or right ear ratio
to study their name tags.

Back to more strangeness at the store, but at least
I was in harmony with my fellow managers. Plus one of
the best things my wise husband taught me was that
we don't have to make snap decisions. It's perfectly all
right to say, "let me get back to you on that", which
I did say about three different times today. Usually when
people pressure us for immediate Action, there is a
fennel fish involved. Fennel fish are fishier than say,
salmon or halibut.

I need a day off.

it's a long way off

...but I've been thinking about baseball again. We
haven't been to Opening Day in a couple of years and
I've missed the excitement, the bunting, the hot dogs
and the garlic fries. I miss hearing Jon Miller and his
partners on the radio and I want to see the not so
sane Giant fans in all their orange and black splendor.
The "baseball group" emails will start up on a daily
basis in March with Allen and Dougo keeping Sally,
Kristin and me informed. I need Opening Day!

To that end (I like using that term in business emails) I
have requested April 6 and 7 off and I have already
started searching craigslist for tickets. We will be
playing the so-called Braves from Atlanta and I will
take my flip and call Kristin and RR. Along with my
attractive Giantswear, I'll be carrying about a million
memories from our baseball days at Candlestick.

el crimen perfecto

Last night we rented The Perfect Crime, a fun little
Spanish film that some of you might enjoy. Here is a
handy link (because I'm not as lazy as I was yesterday):
Netflix: The Perfect Crime
It mostly takes place inside a big department store,
so that part was especially interesting to me. At one
time I worked in both Capwell's and The Emporium
(in the advertising department), and I've ridden enough
escalators and heard enough in-store gossip to fill a
few issues of Vanity Fair. This movie is outlandish,
but that's okay by me during post-holiday recovery.

okay, it's here

I didn't want to do it, I was sure it would depress me,
but Call Me Lucca's mama pushed me into action and
I brought home The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan
Didion. (By the way, don't miss Lucky's blog on death,
it's a keeper. I'm lazy now so I won't link it, but you
can click over there on the right.)

Anyway, I thought I'd take a little look at it on my
BART trip home, so I pulled it out of my elegant pink
backpack and came very close to missing my stop.
All of a sudden I'm there with the author, feeling her
shock and pain when her husband dies. It's every
woman, every person, and yet uniquely Joan Didion ~
her life and her sorrow. Glorious.

just south of san francisco

half moose bay
Originally uploaded by the omster.

I had a splendid SUNNY day yesterday! My
friend N. and I went to Half Moon Bay to visit RR, her mother and her sister. I'm
not naming names here, sort of Anais Nin-like, we'll see how this works. I think we bloggers are torn my who (whom?) we should identify and/or not.

We had lunch OUTSIDE with half of Half Moon Bay, everyone delighted to be in the sun after days and days of grey rain. Then we walked to this Feed Store where this creature holds court. RR (age 2) likes to ride (well, sit) on a pony
statue in here and the rest of us checked out the bunnies,chickens and
cowgirl hats.

For this city woman, it was a treat to be in a small town ~ for a couple of hours. I enjoyed myself immensely. The memory kept me centered during a less than perfect day at work.

walking and reading

I discover new books while I walk them down to the
customer "hold" section on the first floor. Some folks
don't care for browsing amongst the books, so they call
or e-mail their requests in. They are missing one of the
joys of a bookstore, but maybe they are just busy/busy.
I judge so harshly sometimes.

The Smoking Diaries was such a holiday hold and by
the time I had carried it from Drama to the first floor,
I was hooked. The author is Simon Gray and he has
written more than 30 plays and lives in London.
Here is part of the graph in the chapter FEEDING
THE ROT from this turbulent diary:

I've just raked my pen across my yellow page, and
jabbed it down and down and ripped it across. An
attempt to write a primal scream. After all, I'm a
writer and should be able to express everything, but
here, once again, I've failed ~ who, on looking at
these marks, would think they represented a primal
scream without my having to say so ~ the need to
do something savage was because I've been sitting
with my head in my hands, running my fingers
through my hair and thinking how I really couldn't
put down another word, I really couldn't....

Been there?

sitting high and dry

There was a fascinating article in the New Yorker about
a year ago that talked about how Manhattan (NY) was the
best place in America for conservation! Meaning ~ fewer
automobiles and less energy per person because of the
tall buildings and wall-to-wall condos and apartments.
The author himself moved from NYC to a suburb and
bought two SUVs, spent 4 times as much money on his
utility bills and stopped walking to the grocery or shoe
repair shop. Our search for space and privacy is costly.

So, here's my theory. People in the Bay Area escape the
difficulties of city life (and there are many) to find
peace in the suburbs. But wise old Mama Nature says,
"not so fast, Kiddo". The rains come, the hills fall
down and the floods are overwhelming. Again.

We city folks who endure BART delays, Muni muggings,
expensive parking tickets, crime, too narrow side walks
downtown, an entire summer of fog, listening to our
neighbors' fights, parties and TV, sad homeless people,
in-your-face homeless people and let's not forget the
Friday night bicycle boys and girls who have irritated so
many and done so much for San Francisco (note all the
neat new bike lanes). Our daily, real life existence.

We take it on the chin everyday, not from nature,
from ourselves. The poor folks in Napa, Guerneville,
Sonoma, Lodi, etc. are being knocked out completely
by these storms. What a mess. They'll be OK, but
I wonder if some will return to the safety of the city.

who'll stop the rain?

My dearest Ginger (currently living in Kansas) wrote
me that she was dancing in her kitchen in her heavy
snow boots to the sounds of John Fogerty, so of
course I had to buy his new CD The Long Road Home
based solely on her recommendation.
John Fogerty | Home
Lot's of old favorites including:
Bad Moon Rising
Lodi
Lookin' Out My Back Door
Centerfield (my husband's favorite baseball song
and he joins in with "Put me in Coach!" in his own
gentle, phlegmatic out-of-tune way)
Green River

It's like Déjà Vu all over again.

one resolution

I woke up with only this thought for 2006: I must write
more. It is difficult for me, I struggle mightily. It never
turns out the way I think it will when I start on a
project. It's just plain work and the rewards are few.
But oddly enough, I'm happier when I'm writing. I
figure things out while I'm typing away and I reach
a deeper, more interesting place.

So I e-mailed my most wonderful teacher, Jane, the
moment I hit my computer and said, "sign me up".
Here is her web site, linked perfectly due to my
fabulous technological skills.
The Writing Salon :: Welcome

the yuck awards

I have a very mature and professional rating system
for movies that I don't like. I just write "yuck" next
to the title. With books I simply return them to the
shelf, because we have a book loan program that
is now, and always has been, the best part of working
in a bookstore. I don't even list the books that I
return, but with movies I feel I need to keep a record.

So here are a few yucky movies from 2005:

I Heart the Huckabees
Ocean's 12
U.S. of Leland
Northfolk
Lila Said

And now I wish everyone a fine New Year. It has
to be easier on more people than 2005 was. My
favorite day of work is tomorrow ~ I go in a 6am
and work customer-free until 11am. Heaven.

our tough city birds

When I worked down by Fisherman's Wharf, the Wild
Parrots would fly over (squawking loudly) every day
about 3:30 in the afternoon. They would land in a big
tree that was exactly the same color as their feathers
and then they'd fly off about 20 minutes later. Often
the fly-over was the highlight of my day.

Tonight we watched The Wild Parrots of Telegraph
Hill and it was even better than I expected. And we
even got to see the flock that lives down here in the
Mission, in the palm trees on Dolores. Beautiful scenes
of our bird-friendly city, too. Rent or buy it now!

me and my silent flip

Today I deposited my old cell phone at the Verizon®
store on Market Street. They have a big bin there and
a program they call HopeLine® wherein they recycle
old phones and give them to women who have suffered
and (we hope) escaped from abusive relationships.

My new phone is half the size of the old one, but the
buttons are larger and it's easier to use. I've been a
happy Verizon customer for about 8 years and when
I read that this company is rated #1 for mobile
phones, it's no surprise to me. Of course I still haven't
memorized my cell phone number and if anyone ever
called me I'd be utterly shocked. So don't.

some small movie treasures

This morning I'll list five lesser known films from
the Flix®, which is really where they shine. We all know
movies like Hotel Rwanda and Born Into Brothels are
worth seeing, but these are older, little jewel films that
you might have missed. Again, in no particular order:

Bread & Tulips ~ an Italian film about a woman who
runs away from home.
Mostly Martha ~ Sarah the Chefnik agrees that this
German film about a restaurant chef is authentic.
Dark Days ~ recommended by Jen. A documentary
about some homeless people in NYC. Sad/sweet.
Vera Drake ~ a realistic look at how abortions are
done if they aren't legal. (No lectures, move on M.A.)
In the Realms of the Unreal: The Mystery of Henry
Darger ~ wait until you see how this janitor-by-day
created a whole fantasy world in his "real" life.

(Oh, I have to mention Walk on Water and My Summer
of Love here too. So that's a quick seven.)

lists on top of lists

I keep a list of the books I read and the movies we
rent from Netflix®. My book reading is shameful and
I need to increase that activity in 2006. I am
surrounded by books and book people, so I have no
excuse for not reading more.

Here are the five books I most enjoyed last year
and in no particular order:

Pattern Recognition by William Gibson ~ my rare
sci fi read. Wonderfully strong main woman character.
Gilead by Marilyn Robinson ~ elderly preacher looks
back on his life. Try Housekeeping, too. Same author.
Refuge by Terri Williams ~ an older nonfiction book
about the environment and author's growth.
A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. Four people meet
when on roof top New Year's Eve pre-suicide jump.
The Sea by John Banville. Glorious writing and winner
of the Man Booker Award.

Well, now I know why I keep lists. That was a beneficial
exercise for me. Tomorrow ~ my movie BESTS.

dressing down

I had to be at work at 5m this morning to set up the
after xmas sale, so I broke all the rules and wore
blue jeans and felt comfortable all day. It was busy
once again, but the Great Plotnik and his mother,
Rose, came in to visit and to buy some audio tapes.
I heard "there's Mrs. Mushnik" while I was helping
at the registers and that cheered me immensely.
Mother Plotnik (she doesn't like that name) is indeed
a beauty, but I expected that.

grey, wet and quiet

05xmas walk
Originally uploaded by the omster.

San Francisco on Christmas is unlike our city any other day of the year. No traffic, no horns honking, plenty of parking (free) downtown and all muffled in an unreal way, like we're wrapped in a soft grey gauze. And today the fog horns. We could hear them all over the city. I love that gentle moo-like sound.

My friend Michael and I had breakfast at the Cafe de la Presse (Sutter and Grant) and then walked down here near Crissy Field. I wanted to take my 843rd photo of the Golden Gate Bridge, but today we couldn't even see it. The fog/rain was pretty heavy, but we had a pleasant time and it's hard to believe that today was
our 6th Annual Christmas Day Walk.

All in all, another excellent day.

finally ~ a day off

So after all the retail season was successful. Big sales and
happy upper management. Exhausted workers. I'm in front
of my morning fire which is a splurge because it's really
not cold here in Bernal Heights. Still feeling a bit sensitive
to people and sounds, but delighted that things will be
back to normal soon.

Holiday good wishes and love to all my friends: bloggers,
readers and even (gulp) customers.

and now Lucky's on board

Take a look at the newest link over here to the right
and thank you Michael for your highest technical help.
This blog is lovely. Baby Girl is named for Lucca's
Deli and that's how it should be. The momma is my
sweet writer friend, such talent. Enjoy.

one more day

How I'd like to amuse you with little retail tidbits or
perhaps some angry barbs. But I have turned into a
mean machine that works on the registers and makes
excuses for being out of books and looks at my watch
and eats too much chocolate during the day. This
is not what our ancestors had in mind when they
escaped to this country seeking freedom.

Tomorrow is a quiet fire, a beach walk with my friend
Michael and dinner in Kennsington with our middle son
and his wife. Simple. Perfect. That keeps me going....

under destruction

Two more days to endure in Retail Hell. Everyone is on
each other's nerves and I don't think I'll be able to
write much unless some miracle occurs. I feel not
one iota of word play or even a hint of creativity,
so I will go to bed and dream of all the situations I
could have handled better today.

If that man with the umbrella (wet) comes in again
tomorrow and leaves it on the books I might have to
resort to physical violence. Loathsome man. If the
obstreperous woman bothers Jon G. about the broken
book light one more time, it will be lights out for her.

bake at 325º for ten days

Over the years I have trained myself to look for the
unusual "city thing" when I walk. A sight one would not
see in San Leandro or Abilene, Kansas. Yesterday it
was an easy winner and so delightful that I had to
return for another look-see, even if it meant a few
rain drops on my head.

There is a used appliance store at Bryant and Cesar
Chavez (nee Army) and it does a brisk business. In the
front window is a stove without a door. Inside the oven,
on a small red rug, is a manger scene! There are tiny
multicolored lights framing the oven, and two too
large angels guarding the wise men and the Jesus
family. The first time I walked by I did a "what the?"
and wished that I had brought my camera. Then I
decided it would be a good exercise to describe this
little treasure for you here on commano.

a 3 kleenex® morning

I couldn't sleep in this morning, even though I've been
looking forward to doing so for 5 difficult get-up at
4am(s) in a row, so for the first time in my life I
watched a movie before the murk of dawn. I
borrowed "the murk of dawn" from John Banville's
The Sea, by the way. This book is so beautiful that
I can only read about two pages before I put it down
to say, "oh my lord". Or whatever. It is well worth the
$23.00 price tag, even if you have to sell something
really valuable, like the parking space in front of your home.

Anyway, I watched Saint Ralph this morning. I can't
remember where I read about it, or if someone told me
to rent it, but it was delightful. Tears and small smiles
and a nice way to ease into this day. About a boy kid in
the 50's who runs the Boston Marathon. And more.

according to carrie

Now here's an interesting article in today's Chron.
that I can actually paste for you. I'm thinking of maybe
a Great Plotnik apron or a calendar for next year. (It's
a little longer than my usual post, but I bet one or two
of you will get some good ideas.)

The headline:
Many bloggers are experimenting with
selling merchandise

By Carrie Kirby
Chronicle Staff Writer


Katy Barzedor of Flint, Mich., had no trouble choosing a 2006 calendar for her office wall. She happily paid $15.99 for one featuring 12 photos of Chuck, a mixed-breed dog that lives in Salt Lake City.
"It makes me a little disturbed to want that, but I'm just a huge fan of Chuck," said the 40-year-old systems administrator. She got to know the dog -- whose full name is Former Congressman Henry Buck Chucklesworth -- through the blogs of his owners, Heather and Jon Armstrong.
The transaction is symbolic of a trend sweeping the blogosphere: As more and more bloggers look to their Web sites to supplement or replace their regular income, they are experimenting with selling merchandise. While advertising is still the leading revenue source for most bloggers, many find they can leverage their popularity by selling T-shirts, coffee mugs, calendars and books.
John Aravosis, publisher of Americablog.com, said T-shirt sales generated a third of his site's income this month, thanks to holiday shoppers. Aravosis, who stopped working as a political consultant to concentrate on his blog in early 2005, normally gets about a fifth of his income from merchandise, with ads and donations taking care of the rest.
Americablog is a liberal political blog that's very critical of the Bush administration, and its products reflect that slant. People are snapping up T-shirts featuring Karl Rove's face and the slogan, "Treason's Greetings," in Christmas red or Hanukkah blue, said Aravosis, who lives in Washington, D.C.
Aravosis and Heather Armstrong, publisher of www.dooce.com
, are both among the top 100 bloggers on the Internet, according to Technorati, which ranks sites by the number of other sites linked to them. But even lesser-known bloggers have found -- to their surprise and delight -- that they are able to leverage modest popularity for supplemental income.
Margaret Mason, a freelance writer and editor in San Francisco, said she started selling T-shirts on her blog, www.mightygirl.net, to fund the purchase of a digital camera. On Mighty Girl, Mason publishes often humorous snippets from her daily life, such as conversations with friends, things she overhears on the street and excerpts from things she's reading.
"Now I've become addicted to the micro-income," she said. She estimates that she has made a few thousand dollars selling hundreds of shirts in the past two years.
Eden Marriott Kennedy, who writes about her life as a parent in the Santa Barbara area at www.fussy.org, said she has been making $600 to $700 a month selling shirts, enough to pay her son's preschool tuition. Her first batch carried the phrase, "Writing well is the best revenge," while her most recent design says simply, "Fussy."
Barzedor said that when she proudly showed off her new dog calendar at work, she got a lot of head shaking from people who just didn't get it. But experts say that it's no surprise that people want to buy products that promote their favorite blogs.
"People have worn entertainment brands for a long time," said Robert Kozinets, a professor of marketing at Toronto's York University. "I don't think it's any more surprising than if someone wears their favorite TV show on their shirt. They're saying, 'This is something I think is cool, and I want people to ask me about it.' "
It seems that some bloggers have developed fan bases rivaling those of television and movie stars, in dedication if not in number. And like television audiences, blog readers have the feeling that they have real relationships with the bloggers they read every day, said Keith Campbell, a University of Georgia psychology professor.
"This is part of that reality TV thing. It's kind of voyeuristic," said Campbell, who studies narcissism.
Heather Armstrong, whose Web site income is supporting not just her but also her husband and their toddler, acknowledged that people buy the dog calendar because "they feel like Chuck is part of their own family."
"Some people think it sounds creepy, but it doesn't to me, because I'm sharing my life with people around the world," she said. Armstrong has written about such intimate topics as her hospitalization for post-partum depression and every family member's bowel movements, including the dog.
Readers have actually been clamoring for merchandise featuring photos from the Web site, Armstrong said. However, the calendar project has not been a big financial success, with about 250 unit sales at $3 profit each. That's not much when you take into account that Armstrong's Web site gets viewed about 3 million times a month. She increased the number of ads on the site recently after Jon Armstrong quit his job, and now the ad revenue pays as much as his salary used to, she said.
"This is all in the experimental stage right now," she said.
The fact that readers feel that they know bloggers also drives them to be concerned about their well-being, which also drives sales.
"People who read blogs want to support the people who are giving them free content," said Peter Freedman, a spokesman for Raleigh, N.C.'s Lulu, one of the production-on-demand companies that helps bloggers make and sell products. "Buying merchandise and donating to virtual tip jars are common ways people support creators they like and admire."
Companies like Lulu are partially responsible for this trend, because they make it possible for anyone to design and sell a T-shirt, calendar or other merchandise with no up-front investment and very little hassle. Another such company, Foster City's Cafe Press, said it has seen the number of bloggers using its services double since 2004.
Using such services, anyone can upload art or text for printing on merchandise, then offer the product for sale. The fulfillment company sets the minimum price, which it keeps. The seller determines the markup, which she keeps.
One blogger, Jennifer Laycock of Sunbury, Ohio, recently set out to demonstrate how just about anyone can start with nothing and turn a profit within 30 days, using a fulfillment company. Laycock, who works as the editor of Web site Search Engine Guide, decided to open a blog and Cafe Press shop selling shirts that promote breastfeeding and breast milk banking. She'd been pumping and donating some of her milk to a bank for babies in need since her daughter was born last year.
Now, several weeks into the experiment, Laycock has earned $200, which she will donate to her local milk bank. She's chronicling her efforts at www.searchengineguide.com/laycock/.
Those who skip the fulfillment company and mail out items on their own get to pocket more profit. But it's hard-earned, said Mason.
"Fulfillment is so monotonous it makes my eyes glaze over," she said. "People are used to getting things almost immediately when they order online. When they order something and it doesn't come within three or four days, some people freak out. They don't realize that it's just me, hunkered down in my bedroom closet with a shelf of shirts, a Sharpie, and a box of envelopes."

and yet another book list

The good Doctor (J) gave me this list from the 12/23
Entertainment Weekly. Stephen King's 2005 picks
are interesting, especially his #1 and I'll discuss
that in a minute. He lists them from 10 to 1, so
I'll do the same:

10.The Godfather Returns by Mark Winegardner
9. The Mad Cook of Pymatuning by Christopher
     Lehman-Haupt
8. Drama City by George Pelecanos
7. The Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connelly
6. The Hot Kid by Elmore Leonard
5. Harry Potter & the Half Blood by J.K. Rowling
4. No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
3. Saturday by Ian McEwan
2. This Book Will Save Your Life by A.M. Homes
    (not published until April, 2006)
1. Case Histories by Kate Atkinson

I've been reading this Case Histories and stopped
because it seemed a little too violent and pointless
to me. But King says, "not just the best novel I read
this year, but the best mystery of the decade. There
are actually four mysteries, nesting like Russian
dolls, and when they begin to fit together, I defy
any reader not to feel a combination of delight and
amazement. Case Histories is the literary equivalent
of a triple axel. I read it once for pleasure and then
again to see how it was done."

So I'll bring it up from the garage resell pile and give
it another chance. I often don't read far enough into
a book to get hooked. It took me quite a few pages
with Middlesex for instance, but it was well worth the
initial struggle.

nocomma blogger calmer

xmas 05
Originally uploaded by the omster.

I know, you've been looking forward to seeing this tree. So different from all other trees. I couldn't find the pink angel, so I put a bright cerise doll that someone brought me from South America, on the top. And I should have done something with the picture, like crop it and maybe fiddle around with some dial or other so the tree looks green (it is) instead of an odd fuzzy white. Next year I'll buy a couple more light strings too.

I plug the lights in/on the first thing in the morning, even before I put the coffee water on to boil. Despite the cold, I open the drapes because I think maybe I can add a little cheer to someone driving or walking by.

Today, though even busier, was much easier for me and I learned once again that my attitude affects people around me. When I am a snarl ass the customer senses it and when I feel mellow, I can diffuse almost every situation.

I completely forget all that, however, when I'm "in a mood".

la frantica

That was the nickname I gave a boss at one time many
years ago. It was in retail, of course, and it was this
terrible time of year. She took everything waaaaaay
too seriously and I was thinking of her today because
I was getting to that dangerous state of high anxiety
myself. I don't like me when I get this way and I start
spinning my wheels and making mistakes and getting
all caught up in this craziness.

So now I'm sitting quietly beside the Christmas tree
in front of the fire, reading e-mails and watching
the Polar Express. Multi-relaxing. I'm also working on
my resolve to handle things better tomorrow. I
won't let anyone push my irritation buttons and I
will remember that this madness will be over in
a few short days and life will get back to normal.

a giftee from e.e.

Yesterday we bought, lugged upstairs and
decorated our tree. The nice man at the tree lot
said he felt that it was going to a good home
and that made me think of this delightful poem.

little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower

who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see    i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly

i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don't be afraid

look     the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,

put up your little arms
and i'll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy

and then when you're quite dressed
you'll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they'll stare!
oh but you'll be very proud

and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we'll dance and sing
"Noel Noel"

e.e. cummings

it's still retail!

I was interested in the article (written by Adair Lara)
in today's Chronicle on the Goodwill Stores in SF. I wish
I could remember how to link it here, but I can't, so
I'll do a quick recap. Basically, the Goodwill stores are
getting very smart, finally, and selling stuff on eBay
themselves, rather than losing the high profit. Of
course the customers who used to seek out great
buys, so they could reap the rewards, are pretty pissed.
And that is a lot of people, is seems.

They are also merchandising their products better
and paying more attention to customer service. They
put tables and chairs near the used books, "just like
Borders". The front window displays are current and
themed and I say, more power to 'em.

Salvation Army, Goodwill and the Community Thrift store
on Valencia add so much to our life here in The City.
They train people, recycle goods, offer shopping
fun and hope. Once when we were very poor, the only
stores we dared browse in were second hand stores.
We remain loyal customers even though we are not
officially poor people anymore.

The least I can do is link you to the Chron. Then just
type in "Goodwill" to find the excellent article.
SF Gate: News and Information for the San Francisco Bay Area

the lazy way out

This morning I'm just going to post a joke from my
friend Leah in New York. We had lunch together last
February during our trip to see The Gates. More on
that trip at a later date.

BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD

Crawford, Texas ~ a tragic flood destroyed the
personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood
began in the presidential bathroom where both of the
books were kept. Both of his books have been lost.
A presidential spokesman said that the president was
devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the
second one. The White House tried to call FEMA, but
there was no answer.

chuck and kiki

Today I had a little change of pace because I visited
the museum, mainly to see the Chuck Close exhibit.
SFMOMA | Exhibitions | Exhibition Overview: Chuck Close
It was especially delightful to walk into our MOMA
where it wasn't crowded and I could get up as close
or as far away from his work as I wanted to. At the
end I watched some of the video and was impressed
to see him painting from his wheelchair. So interesting
to see him change and age over the last 40 years
and his work is amazing because only recently has he
started using color.

I didn't want to be late from my slightly extended
lunch hour, but I did drop in to see some of Kiki
Smith's work and found it to be disturbing. Some of
the images will be difficult to whisk broom out of
my mind, so maybe they just need to remain there.
SFMOMA | Exhibitions | Exhibition Overview: Kiki Smith: A Gathering, 1980-2005

the man booker prize

Today I brought home The Sea, a small novel that
won the Man Booker this year. The author is John
Banville from Ireland. Of all the book awards and
prizes, this is the one I pay the most attention to.
With one or two exceptions, these are the best of
the best books every year. I'll report on this one
in a few days.

If you'd like to know more, I recommend:
Powell's Books - Award Winners - The Man Booker Prize

25 years, imagine

strawberry fields
Originally uploaded by the omster.

Every time we go to Central Park I take a photo of the John Lennon Memorial at West
72nd Street. How impressive that so many fans of all ages congregated here last week to mourn his death 25 years ago. It doesn't seem possible, of course, that so many years have passed without him. His music, his voice lives on.

world weary

Too many people to deal with in one day, plus I have
that extra touchiness because I was up too late with
the Tiapos writers. It was a lovely evening in front of
the fireplace, but we missed our Jane. Maybe someday
Karen H., Martha and Eric will return too. Thanks
to Sarah the Chefnik for bringing all that food and
Will for the pizza, Dougo the chocolates. Will's new
nickname is "Ten of All Trades" because he isn't
much of a handyman. Hahaha, good one!

Tomorrow will be wall-to-wall customers with totally
unbelievable questions, so I'll probably be in bed
at 8pm tonight. I was a little too close to the edge
today and that really doesn't work for anyone.

walkie talkie talk

Things are heating up now and here's a sampling of
the constant retail jabber on our walkie talkies:

Kevin: Mary Ann, are you in the store?
M.A.: No, I'm across the street at Saks.
Kev: In the lingerie department?
Craig: Who has phone 373?
Silence
Craig: Who has phone 373?
Felix: We need someone to gift wrap
M.A: Where are those damn gift wrappers?
Lisa: I'm completely out of ones
Ryan: Here's a customer who wants 200 Streetwise SF maps
M.A.: Sounds like a corporate customer, call Terri
Craig: Has someone logged out of phone 373?
John: Why can't I find "1776"?
Pam: Are we still out of "March of the Penguins"?
Linda: Can I take my 10 minute break?
Kev: Who wrote that book about the two young women in rural China?
and on, and on...add much nauseum
What a pleasure to remove that thing from my ear and trudge
down Powell Street to BART at the end of the day.

pondering pain

I'm having a cup of green tea now to jump start my
brain. That and typing here in ol' commano should
help me reach some conclusions. Maybe.

There is a short story in the 11/14 New Yorker by
Paul Theroux and he tells of the absolute worst year
of his life. Title: The Best Year of My Life. Here is
the passage that I marked with my pen:

This whole plot - the beginning, the middle, and the
end - had been lived before by others, but I had had
to live through it myself to understand it, to know
that agony can be an analgesic, that the memory of
pain can itself be a painkiller. That year made the
rest of my life easier.

Now I remember once again my worst year. When
I was in college and my father died. I did not think
I would survive that, and yet I did. Subsequent
deaths have not been quite as horrible and I do
believe that his death taught me how to live my
life. It never occurred to me until that awful year
that I had even a drop of inner strength. I do.

xmas lite

I spent the morning writing little notes and sending even
smaller Am Ex gift certificates to the children. I do not
miss the buying, wrapping and sending of presents. It
is perfectly calm and delightful not to struggle with the
xmas cards. So far no guilt.

We hope to send a sizable check to the Red Cross this
year with the money we are not spending on gifts in the
wrong size and unacceptable (to the recipient) color.
I repeat the phrase in each note, "we have so much".
We all have so much.

Sunday night was the final Curb Your Enthusiasm and it
was filled with "let's watch that again" details. Larry
David is a comic genius ~ watching him go to/fro Bisby,
Arizona on the plane was worth the HB0 monthly charge,
but there was so much more. Finally we meet his mother
and I won't say anymore because some people have
not seen this yet. It's all we are talking about at work
and surely makes the whole difficult scene there so
much more tolerable. "I have a SYSTEM", we say and
laugh uproariously.

do you know maxine?

I'm too tired to write tonight, so I'll type one of
my favorite poems by Maxine Kumin from her book
Our Ground Time Here Will Be Brief. I don't know
why I love it so much since it's sort of depressing,
but I do.

How It Is

Shall I say how it is in your clothes?
A month after your death I wear your blue jacket.
The dog at the center of my life recognizes
you've come to visit, he's ecstatic.
In the left pocket, a hole.
In the right, a parking ticket
delivered up last August on Bay Street Road.
In my heart, a scatter like milkweed,
a flinging from the pods of the soul.
My skin presses your old outline.
It is hot and dry inside.

I think of the last day of your life,
old friend, how I would unwind it, paste
it together in a different collage,
back from the death car idling in the garage,
back up the stairs, your praying hands unlaced,
reassembling the bits of bread and tuna fish
into a ceremony of sandwich,
running the home movie backward to a space
we could be easy in, a kitchen place
with vodka and ice, our words like living meat.

Dear friend, you have excited crowds
with your example. They swell
like wine bags, straining at your seams.
I will be years gathering up our words,
fishing out letters, snapshots, stains,
leaning my ribs against this durable cloth
to put on the dumb blue blazer of your death.

sunday morning thoughts

It's so cold (for the West Coast) this morning that I turned
on the oven and opened the door when I made coffee. Our
back room has a huge plate glass window and we keep that
door closed and hunch in front of the fireplace in the living
room during winter months. But I find a million little reasons
to keep going into the freezer just so I can check on my
city. Scattered lights on Potrero Hill to the right, downtown
all lit up with even more sparklers than usual, Twin Peaks
with those distinct almost-mountains to the left. Not even
a wisp of fog or a cloud this morning glorious. But cold.

The holidays are heating up and The Season is officially here.
I'm mentally exhausted from too much customer contact
and trying to keep my irritation in check. People close to
hysteria because they can't find exactly what they want
at a discount, of course. I understand that, on one level,
but on another I want to give them the toast/tragedy
lecture and piss them off even more.

Downtown streets are over flowing with red and green bags
Santa hats, sweaters with snow men and trees, strollers and
always the cars. Cars, taxis, trucks and buses ~ all honking
at once in blocked intersections. When customers call for
directions from say, the East Bay, I give advice, "please,
take BART...you do not want to drive here". Do they listen?

I return with a second cup of coffee and the calendar.
Three weeks from today is a Day Off. A rare Sunday off
for me, the Christmas celebration for many. Sanity
will return for retail workers the world over.

cracking good crab

crab season
Originally uploaded by the omster.

Lucky you, the dining room table again! Almost like our lives are centered around food, isn't it?

Note the SF Chronicle table cloth. This is part of the tradition. You toss the crab shells on the newspaper and wrap them up after the meal. They will start to smell ghastly after about an hour, so we freeze them until garbage day. (I know you wanted to know that.)

The first time I had cracked crab was on the back deck at Neti and Frank's house in Twin Peaks. It was one of those very special warm/clear winter days and I had just returned from a "break up". We had been living in New York and I returned alone to my friends in Frisco. Neti and I devoured cracked crab in the sunshine, drank gallons of white wine and solved my problem, as best we could.

Need I mention that sour dough bread is an absolute necessity here?

This was decades ago, but it is one of those strange memories that stay right in the top of my head. When it's crab season again, I think of that day and as trite as it sounds, it must have just been last week.(A salute to friendship.)

the 10 best books of 2005?

Thanks to Bruce Almighty bla bla bla for this list from
the New York Times:
          Fiction
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
Prep by Curtis Sittenfield
Saturday by Ian McEwan
Veronica by Mary Gaitskill
          Nonfiction
The Assassins Gate by George Packer
De Kooning by Mark Stevens & Annalyn Swan
The Lost Painting by Jonathan Harr
Postwar by Tony Judt
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
    

quads on wheels

This morning I want to recommend Murderball, a film
you can now rent on DVD. It's the unlikely story of
quadriplegics who play this violent game of some
sort of rugby, but of course that's not the real story.
Spend an hour and a half being inspired by these men
and their families and friends. I will misquote something
I heard the other day (Chekhov?) on radio: "there are
tragedies and then there is burnt toast". Mostly I've had
the toast trouble in my life, but once in a while I treated
it like the disaster that it wasn't.